CaD

Slap in the face

2011-11-05T05:05:00.002+08:00

Its seems that there's nobody to trust at all. Feeling the out most pain when people just keep on being selfish to themselves. Getting the right slap on your face when you realize that everyone is just as pathetic as they can be. What's the point of having secrets when each one of them always sabotage you by telling someone else. Regardless if it is your mom, brother, best friend, boyfriend . They think that they can change you into a better person, correct your wrongdoings but no, they're wrong.

They make me suffer the pain. Take away my happiness. Make me feel as if i will not have any mistakes , even a small error in life anymore.

How can life be so beautiful when your happiness is taken away. How can i be me when everybody else expect you to be the role model , even if you don't want to. How can they make me feel pain when i am the one who's taking care of my own heart.

Please don't tell me that i am a robot. Do whatever they say. I have a heart to control my feelings and i have a brain to think whether its is wrong or right. Why must you change me?

I'm not good at lying nor good at telling the truth. Everyone has their own secrets but that doesn't mean that you can just ruin someone happiness like that.

Feel like leaving home, just cool myself down and start fresh. Taking care of only myself and no one else to bother about. I'm sick of all the noises that comes in and out of my head. I'm sick of people telling me don't do this and that. I'm sick of hearing that whatever i have been doing is a sin to everybody else. Cut that crap. Why must i listen to them when i know i can be better. They're just pushing me down.

I don't like this theory when someone who simply curse you and tell you that your stupid, your angry and you show or prove them that you are not that person. Why the HELL must we prove to people that we can achieved ? Why must all of you bring me down and take it for granted that i will prove to you that i can do it. What's the worth?

What if i am not that 80% of you that will kill to prove people that you can make it. What if i am the kind where you bring me down and i lost hope? Telling people that i can't make it because i'm so emotionally torn by the people who love to bring me down hoping that i will buck up. Will all of you still continue to fuck me up?

How tired i am with this mind blowing people. They are just pathetic.

Stop trying to take away my happiness, stop your negative reflection towards me. At the end of the day, IM STILL ONE OF YOUR KIND.

Senyuman manis

2011-07-15T04:31:00.002+08:00

Hari ni aku syukur sangat.
Entahlah kenapa.

Tadi aku pergi johor dengan indra & what happen was aku cakaplah dengan dia yang aku nak tgk kedai jual gubahan2 dengan dulang2. & surprisingly, he agreed. Macam tak percaya si mamat tu. Sanggup betol melayankan perangai aku.

Dah sampai kedai2 tu, aku tanyer2 penjual. Dia diam aje. Bila aku pusing kat dia, dia senyum je. Dia tak teguh apa2 pon. Lepas tu, dia belikan aku bear. Pasal aku ckp ngan dia tadi pagi yang aku nak bear baru. hehe. Manja nyer aku kat dia.

Entahlah, dia dah banyak berubah, betol ! Dia temankan aku lima hari ni. Happy nyer aku disisi dia. Dia skrng banyak kasi aku attention. Ishkk. Rasa sayang sangat lah kat dia. Rindu pon ada.

So back to the story, dia kata dia nak bincang ngan parents dia pasal ni. Like seriously, Kita nak tunang? Aku mcm maseh belom percaya gitu sei. Tapi yeah, biler dia ckp tu, dia tgk mata aku. Serius betol lah mamat ni. hehe. Alhamdulillah, indra dah banyak berubah sekarang, demi aku. Inillah masa yang aku nanti-nantikan sejak setahun lalu.

Dulu, semuanya biasa. Boring. tetapi sekarang aku rasa hubungan kita semangkin seronok lah!
Cinta dia semangkin mendalam. Biler dia renung mata aku, peluk tubuh aku kuat2. ishhhhh ! rasa mcm alam syurga gitu. huhu.

Dah pukol 5am sekrang, Aku maseh belom dapat tido, dah 4 movie aku tgk, tak ngantok2. Agaknya terlalu ingatkan dia kot. Indra.... Saya sayangkan awak. Saya harap kita akan selalu bergini.

Akhrinya cintaku terbalas juga.

SPEECHLESS

2011-06-22T03:48:00.002+08:00

Its been crazy.
Friendship & relationship are really tough right now.
I have to re-think all over again.
Who's the one that cares for me the most and the one who dont even bother to care.
Damn, its hard.
I dont really think that indra and me are in a relationship.
Common, i am always with him, but my heart just wont try and love him.
I want to be accompanied by him, but some point i just dont want him to be there.
My heart and my brain is not going the same way so yeah , im really confused right now.

Friendship, problems.
Sometimes when u wanna really want to meet somebody, someone that is really close to you & you cant cos he/she is busy moving on with life and it feel sucks. Sucks to the core.
No one to hear you complain or mad or angry or sad , worst you have to do all those things to yourself.
Or even someone who doesn't seems to care that for the past few years your trying to make it up.

These two things just making me feel so wipe out. Head spinning.

My goodness,
I really wish i had someone who i really can share.
It's tough being confuse in this two points.
It's even tough to handle this two points alone.

Its a hell of a month.

2011-06-02T09:43:00.002+08:00

I know its been long since i updated this blog cos im using tumblr now.

I miss you so much dannaxz.
& i know its hard .
i cant take this anymore, i cant deal with this anymore.
I really want you by my side & i really 2 want you so much buddy.

Its tough going through things without you.
Please buddy, give me a chance.
I really wish one day you will tap my back and say hi. ONCE, just for once.

I know u may not even want to care about me and my life.
But all i can think wright now is you. just you.

I cant take this anymore.
I want to talk to you at school but im not strong enough,
Im scared your gonna push me away.

I love you so much buddy, & its been 4 years already.
I really dont know how can i not think about you every single time.
Its just annoying.

But i follow what my heart says, & it says that one day, we will be together again.
Just like we use too. xoxo buddy.

2010-08-26T02:59:00.003+08:00

I FREAKING HATE MY BOYFRIEND.
COS HE HAS NO TIME FOR ME.
OK , JUST FAKING.
COS I JUST MET HIM A WHILE AGO.
NO MATTER, I STILL HATE HIM.
COS HE'S NOT WITH ME WRIGHT NOW.
OK , CADERELLA BECOMING SO EEEMOOOOOOOOO.
EEEEEEEEEE................F!

2010-07-02T13:54:00.002+08:00

Hey humans.

Its been long since i updated this bitch here and yes, my blog is tittled as MISS BORING BLOG for now. Hees.

I know, since i started working in this airline company , ive been so busy! Non stop! urgh.

Life is still in a mess for now . Juggling the bills and hardwork at the same time.

Work environment was WORST when i first step in , but for now, everything is GREAT. Except for the rumours and the gossip 24hours service.

An experience that i learn from the working environment is that the number of people that loves you is equivelant to the number of people that hates you. Its a non stop shit. I dont understand why , but hey , i guess that's how we flow in budget terminal.

Besides all the irritating passenger's, i feel blessed working there. I mean our deployment is tottally chronic drawn with so many X's and A's for one day but the end of the day, its feel that u just started work.

Ok, enough of this working shit already. Ive been wasting my time sleeping after work because i have nothing better to do. NO, its not that i dont have any friends or GF's to hangout with me till 12am in the morning drinking coke and smoking viceroy ice while gossip, its just they currently bz doing their own shit. Hah. Its true, whenever im free, they're always bz. Yeah, i regret for not going to school, or else my free day will be the same as them ! haha.

Talking about home , urgh. My few months at home has been like a hotel. My room is still in a mess and im yet to clean it. Urgh. Pressure pressure. The two kittens have grown , BIG.

Aite, here's the thing. I simply dont understand about this cat's in my neighbourhood. Its seems like my oldest cat named girl girl who's the only female cat, is the most popular cat in the neighbourhood for now. Every now and then , i can see male cats walking/sitting/sleeping at my corridor. Dont let me get started about how they look like. Some are big,some are skinny & most funny thing is, cats comes with diff kind of furr colour! The most cats that ive seen at my corridor is 3. I guess girlgirl is tittled "miss popularity". How i only wish i can just be her, where three hot men standing in front of my corridor waiting for me to step out. haha!

ok, i guess i have to end here. huhu. Gonna go JB with bf. toodles.

THIS IS OREN. HE's my NUmber 1 cutest cat.

2010-06-20T10:07:00.002+08:00

Had enough of enjoying yourself FAKE hus?

Turn around and see who's left alone right now.

Issit you or me huh?

BFF again? Sickening.

2010-06-13T10:21:00.002+08:00

Somtimes its rather odd to see someone who's close to you suddenly drifting away from your life.
Well, everyone has the right to move on with their life. Who am i again? Just someone .
Geez. Why can't everything be perfect for this year? hmm.

Hello to everyone out there who still have the time to read my old dusty boring blog. Im back again yet no story to tell. If i were to repeat every single daily story its gonna so boring right? so yeah.

Today is my 17/18th monthsary, watever it is. yeah. i really dont have the mood to celebrate this occasion at all. Maybe im just too tired, too tooo tired. I dont want to pissed indra off so yeah, gonna go JB i think but before that gonna head down to cousin house for my lil cousin birthday. He's turning 1! Omg. Its been months since i last saw him , judging from my cousins blog, i think his growing gigantic already. haaah. Idk whether he remembers me or not but hey, i hope not. SPeaking of birthday, what present should i bought for him?

Work is like my another 1/2 life now. WORKAHOLIC. Serious shit. Ive been working and ot-ing most of the time and idk how long im going to enjoy my another half teenage life. Its sucks to be working lah, but still its fun when ur enjoying the job. I missed going out every saturday with friends, video conferencing with best friend till early in the morning, stare at my pet fish kecik for hours. lol. I missed all that. Haiyh. For 4 months , all i do is work work work & bloody hell, never did i really enjoy going out once!

Ok ok, now im dragging myself. Complain complain, that's all that you can talk about cad. Haha.
EEEEEEEEHHHH. Ive been munching junks of food so much lately and when i look at myself at the miror this morning i look like a big dictionary book! Page 1, page 2 , page 3! gaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
Im getting plummerrrrr and more pluummmerrr. How i wish there's a fairy godmother who can fufill my wish cutting of all my fats! babad babad. banyak babad. Can make satay babad! heeh.

Well i guess im going off right now. At work now.

Passengers are the most irritating people ive known.

Complain.complain.complain. tetek lu.

2010-06-02T00:44:00.002+08:00

I'm Currently Bz going for Course right now.
& damn , im freaking tired & exhausted.

TO ALL : I missed Ya'll too ! Dont worry. I'll be back when i am readyy for happiness.

2010-05-18T21:24:00.002+08:00

It's all a piece of shit yaw. It sucks so much.
How can dad be so mean to me ? What did i do to deserve this shyt?.
Goodnes, yesterday went home with indra and overheard mum shouting at dad.
Money was missing again & mum was really frustated by then.
When dad went out of the room talking to indra, we checked his bag and all. All a few bucks.
I was so dissapointed with dad, but hey , there's no proof that dad stold the money.
$250 missing just like that.
When mum msged me today and told me she found an empty envelope which suppose to be fulled of money ad dad's bag. I was shocked.
Called mum and talked all the way , and hey .
Wanna know something ? Dad said , maybe it could be me who stole that money and put the empty envelope in his bag. I was so confused and damn frustated.
Sial lah dad, if you want to steal that money for something stupid then go ahead ar But u dont need to put my name into the scene. Kimek , ko buat sial ngan mak aku , kau nak peng nama aku. kau mana nyer baek sial sebagai seorang suami?.
I work my ass out , aku gaji tak ckp ape2. Aku kasi mak aku duet lagi pasal gaji kau tak cukop. Skrng kau nak letak nama aku pulak yang aku curik duet bini kau ? eh sial.
Stop it siol ngan kau nyer duer muka. Skali curik tak per ah , ni setiap kali kau curik. kau tak kesiankan bini kau ke pe keje hari2 takda rest takda ape2? Wake up sial.
Im so sick of my dad shit lah.
I have to work just to find my own pocket money and to save for my uppcoming diploma course.
I dont go to school because i know you guys cant afford it.
I let my own brother become the good "poly" student using u two money.
Do i deserve all this shit? No .
Imagine ah , belum 18 dah keje full time. I should be studying not working.

Thanks to u ah dad, everything is ruin.

You ruin every single future step of mine.

Zaman skrng , laki sumer jgn step besar.. Yang tolong kau satu hari pun biler kau khawin pun bini kau sendiri. So jgn nak jadi Man of the house eh kalau kau punya gaji tak sebesar pompuan.

So dad, this post for u eh.

Wake up.

Selamat lah mak aku ni baeeeeeekkkkkkkkk hati sangat.
Kalau tak , aku rasa aku dah lama matikan kau.
Aku dah malas lah nak dgr kata2 tak perlu kau.

You , can get out from my freaking life.

I dont need a dad to bring me up, cos ur nothing compared to me.

If only you knew

2010-05-13T20:56:00.002+08:00

i told u i dont like it. I dont like anything at all. i hate it so freaking much.
You think too much of yourself and you dont realise what you've said the entire conversation.
I can be sensitive in a way , but hey . I dont need any helpline. I just need what every girl needed. comfort. Which part of the comfort dont you understand? Yes , u could be a close friend to me. I understand that you wanted to help, but i dont need any of that yesterday. Women can be really sensitive and because of that "thing " that you said , everything just blew offf , like that. It hurts. You're expecting too much from me. Expecting the fairness in my relationship.

Hey , u dont feel the pain. I do. You can understand the situation that im handling a hundred times but you dont feel exactly how i feel. Giving that fairness back to him wont change anything . It wont make me happy either. It's making me suffer. So tell me now , why do i have to put myself into a fairnesss relationship when everything that he did before doesnt match up. Its crazy. You told me to give him a chance, how much longer? You told me to change him , i did. Nothing simply working. Im too sick to remind him every single time for his mistakes.

Yes, i love him. Yes, i still want him in my life. I just need a listener okay. Even if you have to lie to me that you dont like what im saying or im too over the top at least it will make me better. I dont want no teacher top be teaching me every step of the future. I know you care for me like hell and you want me to be in a correct path. Dont you worry , i can. I know youre not the type who will just listen. But pls, for once. Make me happy.

if you think watever i said here didnt make any sense to you, then sorry.

im done here.

2010-04-26T14:50:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY INA TETEK !

SEMOGA BAHAGIA YE.

2010-04-20T18:09:00.002+08:00

Yaw baby !

Gosh, its so dusty in here. I need to brush this baby! sorry for the long waiting of my new post. Im busy working people. Tell ya what , im going crazy with work. Everything is stressful but fun.

After 1 week of working , im dreadfully happy that i have my off day. Tomorrow gonna start working again. Working life suck big time. But what to do ? Work is work. huahuahua.

Now, ive been missing many plans with ex schoolmates/girlfriend and damn i missed them so freaking much. Only god knows how much i want to meet them. Having a tight schedule and everything seems tough. Have to understand. Working in changi airport , never free one.

I guess thats all since i have nothing much to say. love you all. chiow! N ZUBAIDAH , im not going to get engaged. lol.

2010-03-29T23:53:00.002+08:00

I dont know whether it's me who's the one not updating recently or i just don't simply have any readers?. No matter , i'm still going to update this blogg for whoever who feel like reading it. so yeah.Geez, i dont know what the hell is wrong with my com. & damn , i didnt get to upload any pictures.

Work was fine as usual , except for learning GEOGRAPHY. i HATE geography.

Well, had an mc today due to sore throat, headache and flu. I hate when it comes to sickness. I hate sore throats. It's hurting me so badly! Extremely angry cos i can no longer smoke. Thank you sore throat. Boyfriend had mc too today. We met and all. Talk crap/shit.

Ya know ,
Having a boyfriend isnt that bad at all, unless you have one crappy boyfriend who do not clearly understand how to treat a girl. =_=". Having a guy by my side makes me feel so comfortable.
I still remember this scene when boyfriend wrestled me today just because i dig his nose and put my fingers in his mouth. LOL. It was hillarious.

After reading INA's blog post , i soon realised that my boyfriend , is actually a romantic type of guy.
For instance at this one point of time at marina square , he hold my hand and ask me to dance with him in the middle of the hallway (where events/sales is held at usually) randomly. It was during peak time and gosh , people were walking back and forth. Just one soft song coming out from the marina square speaker that we can hardly hear. I feel so paisey but still i agreed. & there we go dancing just for 2 / 3 minutes or so. soon , people were watching us. haaaaaaaah.
They just smiled. & damn , it was the most MALU day ever. Its funny when i turn back into my past. This is just any other memories which i will never forget.

2010-03-20T18:27:00.003+08:00

currently at work now. I just can't concentrate on my work today cos my mind is always thinking about her. Her, the person whom always there for me . Help me through thin n thick . The one who only eat bread everyday just to give me my school allowance. Mom. I missed her. Missed her so much. I dont know what else can i say. After yesterday , she had operation , she cant even move nor talk much. It's so not her. She used to be strong . She's always strong. Always willing to fight. I guess she's weak now.

Not am i just worried about mom condition's , im worried about my family. Mom is the one whom always handle the family stuff. Paying the bills and such. I don't know , how my family going to survive after these. Mom would probably be on 1 month mc or more and she deffinetly cant work. Dad just started working and im afraid that he couldnt afford to pay for our bills for this month. I can't expect daddy to work all day , he's tired. He's really trying his best to OT every day. Brother, he just finish his studies and god knows what he's doing. I dont think so he's working but i know brother would be very independent. he knows how to take care of himself and im sure he wouldnt worry me.

Everything it's like a sudden bomb falling in front of me and im trying to push myself instead of feeling down. This is the sign for me to be independent instead of asking for sympathy. This is a wake up call for me to become a teenage adult. I know i can do it , i know i can help my family. I know i can. I need to help my dad, i have too. I dont want to worry my granny of any other family members, because i know they have their own problems.

I guess after my system training , i would start to have OT. I must help my family. At least by paying it will help to lower dad's burden. I will try my best to help my family. I promised myself that i would help. I hope brother would be Ok too. I hope that he's fine.

2010-03-19T01:37:00.003+08:00

Damn , it's been tough these week.

Been having 3 mc's plus urgent leave.

Firstly , indra dad warded in Changi hospital due to heartattack.

Now , it's my mom turned to be warded in Tan tock seng due to intestine problem or dunnow what stone inside her stomach.

Been going to hospitals back to back and it's already making me crazy.

Work , gaaah . I guess people soon gonna labelled me as MIA. Which apparently they wouldn't say it cos i have an excuse letter.

For indra's dad , we still had no clue when his gonna come out. He's really dying to go home.

For mom is either she can be discharged tomorrow until the doctor told her to come back for operation or not to be discharged and start operation immediately. Still dont know what's the result yet.

Boyfriend & myself is really exhausted right now. Feel like dying.

Im lucky tomorrow which in fact today , is my OFF day. =_="

Still i had to go to ITE Bishan to collect my cert n also go to hospital.

Damn tiring.

THANKS FOR MAKI-ING ME FOR FREE EH FIRDAUS.

KANNNNIIIIIIIIIIIINQUAAAY AHH. ;D

Get well soon mom.

2010-03-11T23:46:00.002+08:00

i dont think i'm ready for an engagement or wedding.

PLEASE , dont push me.

Thank you.

2010-03-08T16:37:00.002+08:00

I've noticed that every picture that i post recently , includes boyfriend.
I don't know why , but having him around me makes me feel so secured and happy. Even though how much i hate him.
Love is blind & hell yeah , for the first time , its true.
Somehow i dont know whether being with him can be worthwhile. Cos i looked at him just like any other ordinary guy friends. I guess, the hugs n kisses touched me. He cuddled me so tight that i couldnt even breathe.
He's just one ordinary fav guy.
Wait , i still don't believe that im in love . Ya'll know me. Im not into that Love thingy righht.
Yeah , his my love for now..
Now im being emotional , EWW?

Gtg , i'm at work. Off day tomorrow.

Would be going out with him . Muah. XOXO

2010-03-07T14:53:00.003+08:00

Work is tiring but hey , it's work.

I missed most of the people here espeacially bf and best friend fir.

Miss them many2.

Not to forget my precious babygirls

lyeena,naz.esah,nad.

Miss korang banyak banyakkk.

jom lah keluar.

JOM LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

huhu.

2010-02-28T14:49:00.004+08:00

Saturday & sunday off day. Yesterday went out with boyfriend. Had so much fun. Ate at Swensens , main and dessert. So yummy ! XOXO boyfriend. Watch movie at 8+ , my name is khan. Awesome movieee. Awesome giler nak mampos. The first bollywood movie that doesnt have any songs in it. huhu. suker suker.

Work ? I don't know what to say. I've been having OJT since the day i started working besides going to course. Hell. Overall , im happy cos OJT i dont need to do things much , makan gaji buta. heees. Still, im tired. Dunnow why.

I think that's all. I dont know what else to say.
Watch my name is khan ! 8/10.

I hate mozilla firefox. ALOT.

Rest

2010-02-28T01:55:00.002+08:00

TIRED. REPOST IT TOMORROW. CHAO.

2010-02-24T02:17:00.002+08:00

It's been two days since i started work at the airport and hell it was tiring. The long waits, the walk.. Gosh. Overall, it was an exciting journey =) , i looooveeeeeeeeee it ! So yeah, tomorrow would be doing the same thang. Maybe OJT or paperwork. pffft.

As an associate , you need to be attentively awake at all times. Geography plays apart in this career. Talking about geography , do you even know i hated GEOGRAPHY so god damn muccchh since secondary school. I just hate the maps, the codes. It's makes my head spins.That's why i tooked history lessons instead of geography. When i heard from the trainer that geography is important , i was shock.. I was given a list of Codes and maps to memorize for exams. & memorizing every part of the world and every state for the country really cracks my head. HELL i tell you. HELL.

Till here, i'll be busy.

2010-02-18T05:37:00.002+08:00

Oh My.

It's been urh, 4 days since i last met him. okay.

No , im not crazy in love, i just MISSED him.

Lepak wih kak zie just now till late.

Facebook till morning. So yeah.

I've got something to share.

It's really super3 boring when someone writes a loooong looooooooooooooooooooooooooong , like superduper looooooooonggg post. It's like you're telling everyone everything in detail. Tell me, does anyone had ever ever really read your loooooooooooooooooooooooong post? i dont think so.

& why on earth does people love to make their blogs private
and only invite close friend to read? It's blog , it's for people to know you better and to share their comments from your post. It's better for you to just get a private blog and read it yourself.

this is the worst english post i ever had. I should stop typing now.

Will be going sheesha-ing later with a bunch of friends. chow.

2010-02-17T18:48:00.001+08:00

Love , I'm missing you. Badly.

2010-02-13T00:51:00.001+08:00

2010-02-12T02:37:00.002+08:00

I dont know how should i elaborate this but i guess i should make this real.
I really dont like girls who has a blog, uses her blog as a " everyone understands my language" term.
Doesnt she knows it's really irritating? For example ; " ii lurff b so muuch ".
It's ok to actually use that sentence with double letter in one post but its really irritating when you use every word double-ly in one god damn post.
It's terryfing me. Have you ever been in school ?
Yes, it may be cute , sweet , minah-ing. Youre just making it worst for people to understand that.
It's ok to blog even if your english is terrible. But is worst when you just manipulate the words that had never been in the dictionary.
____________________________________________________________________

Life is normal as it is.
Here, im waiting for 22nd for my work to start.
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
It's gonna be tiring.
Damn.
Valentine's day , bf gonna work.
Maybe?
So will be out or stay at home.
either or lah kan.

till then , im out.

2010-02-09T02:02:00.001+08:00

LIFE IS BLISSFUL WHEN YOU HAD SOMEONE GREAT IN YOUR PATHETIC LIFE.
nothing else to say ; muaaaahs!

2010-02-08T03:43:00.004+08:00

isn't it irritating when the one youre trying to forget the most always pop up in your mind every single freaking minutes?DAMN.

Currently sad because manis and simbah have been adopted by a new owner.

I missed them so much, Too much.

I can't be at home for sure cos i know if im there, im surely gonna cry out loud n refrain them from taking my kittens. So i went out with indra, which made no difference. I still cried at titanic. Like really bad.

OH. how are they now? are they scared? ohhh. gosh.

I'm left with three kitties now, oren , comot, comel. Plus brownie and girl girl.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

STRESSED.HURT.MISSED.CRIED.

Now, oren is sleeping beside me. Yeah , she'c cute alrite.

I dont what else to say.

SPEECHLESS

SUDDENLY MISSING THAT SOMEONE ; INDRA.

2010-02-06T01:18:00.002+08:00

It's been long since i last updated thing baby.
So everyone , hello once again.
Life is full of up's and down's.
Yeah , gonna start work next wednesday. Hoping for the best for this year. 1 year contract , gaaaaaaaah.
Bought myself a bigger fish tank .
i have 10 fishes now.
3 goldfish. 3 guppies. 1 black dunnow what. 1 algae eater. 1 small lohan. 1 i have no idea what is it.so yah. haha.
imagine , having 17 pets at home. & there goes, brownie pregnant again.
Tomorrow , out to town with shah and his buddies.
tuesday would be fiq's bilated birthday at lau pa sat.
suddenly i have feelings for these girl at bus 168 on my way back home. haha . Love the way she dress up. Like supeerrrrrrr dope sia. wowowowowo. Inspiration baby!

GUA SUKA LU AH MINAH.

Btw, i dont care how long shah gonna pass his bike license but i'm damn sure im gonna have my aprilia sooner or later.

APRILIA ON MY WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

2010-01-30T15:52:00.004+08:00

A must must watch ! huhu. Rating ; 7.5/10.

Yesterday went to watch a movie santau with indra.

It was a late night movie and damn , even though causeway point is so silent , there's still many people watching it.

Scary? not so. Frightening? HELL YES.

Ya know, i hate the sound effects. Its scares me till death.

Or wanna know my dirty little secret ?

*ppisssss* At the end of the movie , my jeans turn out to be at my ass, thigh?.

Gagagaga , i didnt know that i was watching santau butt/PUSS naked. OMG.

Luckily , there's no one beside me. Pheewww.

I still cant believe i choose SANTAU over TOOTHFAIRY.

Wth?

2010-01-25T22:18:00.001+08:00

CHEDEBAH !

NAZSUNSHINE DAH ADA MATAIR DOH !

Woots~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.

CONGRATULATIOOONS SAYANG.

2010-01-24T01:36:00.002+08:00

See how excited we are when ex love and ex love meet?

Huhu. Working for two days 13 hours each really cracks my body. Damn , it's just too tiring. Hope that my pay would give a relieved for working hard.

Nowwww, was suppose to meet boyfriend after work, but the plan was not carried on since both of us sleep till nite. + boyfriend still asleep. So yeah?

Idk? But i think ive been loosing weight? ok wait. Loosing my hand weight. haha. It looks a bit bit smaller than usual, thanks to work maybe?

I miss friends and yes, friends aloooot. So friends, when would u hang out with me again? IMYA.

Now, enjoying myself with delicious treats by mom with Mcdonald delivery ordered by brother. So yeah. It's been so long ! YUM2. See ya peeps!

2010-01-21T02:04:00.004+08:00

Perangai stop it eh?

Your just being too jealous.

No , im not making ur life miserable .

You choose the miserable road and simply blame me for the fault. Like i did something really stuuupid.

Damn.

Gosh , ur driving him craaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Still angry at me? What's the point?

He's still yours & damn , he still love you.

Well, congratulations.

Sometime , you should actually point the blame to yourself for not giving him any freedom.

Besides, he aint your husband riiight?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm still wondering why the hack does these people still hate me.

You can't ruin my life thats for sure cos i have nothing against you.

Hating people would make you hate yourself cos you're nothing like them.

so yeah , break the code yah. *cheers

OTAK MAMPOS PE?

2010-01-20T00:51:00.002+08:00

Well , heard many comments from people that my blog is like a daily diary instead of a blog of voices , comments, paparazzi blablabla.Yeah. I realized that.

I guess i'm not the type of bloggers who is always up-to-date to all these news + mtv+news.

There's one thing in my mind.

Wassup with all these 20++ year old people tryna tell 17 years old Yp's.

It's a change world outta there.

The 13 year old is like a 16 year old.

The 16 year old is like a 20 year old.

& the 20 year old would deffinetly look older larh.

So people , doesnt mean underage people are all Yp's. Yes, its stand for young people but people dont speak/sound that way.

For me , Yp's is for the range of teenagers from 13-16 years old or most probably it is part of the term " mat rep" .

It just irritates me when people comment/gossip about young people growing up very fast or aka mutured.

Memang lah melampau kalau 13 tahun dah cukur kening , dah pakai sexy2 semua. Tu memang lah hot topic.

Tapi for 17 year old and above, dorang kan dah grow up..biar lah.

so yah. tu larh dia.

So yeah? This is my topic for today. Dah.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gi airport tadi , checkup.

Tamp.century square.lunch.168.causeways.cat litter.home.sleep.com.phone with qida.

Dah.

2010-01-18T11:14:00.003+08:00

HAppy 18TH BIRTHDAY

BEST FRIEND KU SAYANG

FIRDAAAAAAAAAAAAAUS!!!

Had a real great great fun last night & today.

So last night , was late for the bbq .

Met them at ecp at 10+pm.

Talk.talk.talk.

Chat.chat.chat.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Told fir that ive forgotten to bring the barang sabo which zarina did but heyho, it was a lie i had to bring it up.

Started eating and chatting and smoking.

Ok serious , wait . Among 10 friends that we had there only three were non-smokers.

Gosh. & STILL , i couldnt believe that MICHAEL ( he know who he is ) smokes?. *thud*.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At 12.00am ob the 18th , farooze and azam were still nowhere to be found.

Decided to continue and light the cake in the tent.

OK WAIT , i still dont know who bake that cake. Nevertheless, thank you whoever you are.

The singing part was horrible , one sing and the rest kept quite , but i hope fir is find with that,

Hey ! we never practise sia.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Then we played the bunga api aka sparkels which ina bought & sungguh tu bunga api tak long lasting and semangat seminit.

So after that came syafiq saying to fir to followed him to the toilet cos he was having stomach pain . *thud* All of a sudden , syafiq throw the egg at fir but eventually it doesnt hit him . & there goes firdays running away from us.

---now came farooze & azam---

Peepsz caught firdaus & pooooof ! one by one hit fir with eggs and flour.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After everyone was happy hitting him , then comes the taking picture part.

While taking picture, i poured my delicious home-made sabo present for fir.

The ingredients are : Flour, air asam , vinegar, sos cili , sos tomato, black pepper, pepper, soya sos , kicap manis, curry sauce & lastly , a tin of coke.

haha. I loveee it.

& it turn out that everyone hates my speacial recipe mainly because ;

1. It stinks

2.The smell cant be washed-out.

3. It sticks at zarina hair, faezah clothes & fad hand. + others,

So yeah?.

Had fun the whole nite torning.

Watch sunrise at 7am , so cool! First time seeing sunrise !

8am packup and by 9+ off home.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So here i am now.

Back from pit .

& done uploading pic at fb.

These people are making me crazy , told me too upload.

OK, AKU DAH UPLOAD KAT FB.

Enjoy eh korang. tetek.

Sumpah.sumpah aku penat sumpah.sumpah.

Sorry for those who aren't invited, these is for close friend party only.

SO YEAH.

JGN JEALOUS.

haha, peace.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

RIBUAN TERIMA KASI KEPADA:

Zarina , syafiq , faezah , haikal , aqbar , fad , farooze dan azam.

SAYAAANG KORANG , not!

2010-01-16T23:35:00.001+08:00

Yesterday watch the blind side.

Totally awesome.

9/10 people.

watch it.

CHIAO.

2010-01-16T01:26:00.002+08:00

OTAK KAU DAH MAMPOS PE ?

NAK CARIK PASAL NGAN AKU.

KAU PK SENANG2 KAU NAK LARI.

EH JANTAN , KAU PILIH SALAH POMPUAN LAH.

kan kan kan kan kan kan kan kan kan kan kan

CAD DAH MENGAMOK. KAN KAN KAN.

2010-01-14T02:22:00.002+08:00

My oh My. What a day !

SAYAAAAANG , Happy 1st Anniversary. Kakakaka.

Today went to sentosa for a 1st Anniversary picnic.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Met boyfriend at Outram and was surprise with a bouqet of rose with 6 stalks in it.

Off to Sentosa and boyfriend was surprised by his favourite Mario .

I told him that i can't afford to buy any other stuff and that is the only present for him.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chat.chat.chat.swim.swim.swim.Smoke.smoke.smoke.eat.eat.eat.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At 6.40pm , Boyfriend told me to turn around away from him, after minutes , he then told me to faced him with my eyes closed. He used my Puma bandana and told me to cover my eyes. & after few minutes , he told me to open my eyes. & there , with two lime green candles , was my SK jewellery necklace super-duper normal expensive. ROMANTIC KAN? N hell ! I cried. so yeah?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After that i told him i got something for him , a present that i had wrap earlier. He really open it slowwwwwwwwly. Like really slooooowwwwwwwwwwwly. Then he saw the G SHOCK box without looking at the watch inside it and get really excited. He opened it , n there gooooes , SHAHINDRA a happy man.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So , orng kata , ada pergi ada balek lah eyh? haha.

Then off to watch Song of the SEA which is totaly cool but the price is expensive. Then proceeded to Merlion and lastly , HOME SWEET HOME.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Short cut story for today .

I'm restless and tired.

More pictures will be uploaded through facebook.

So people , check us out !

2010-01-12T01:14:00.004+08:00

Now ,
Done everything that i wanna do.
Soon , tomorrow will be my solo day out , perhaps again.
Gonna do some things on my own , n yeah.
Ive been sleeping sooo damn late these days. Need to restore back all the energy tonite till tomorrow.
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow.
I've got the job at Changi Aiport as the counter.
Still waiting for them to call me back for medical checkup.
I can't wait for it ! Sounds really exciting.
FRIENDS planning to persue to Higher Nitec .
Not for me.
Maybe Higher Nitec Next year?
Now, deal with mooney first lah eh.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
I can really hear those bling2 sounds .
---Hoping that They'll call me in a few days time---.

Anniversary surprise ? Just wait. =)

2010-01-11T00:01:00.002+08:00

Really had an awesome day today !

Went Jurong Bird park n damn , it's tiring.

The show was superb and the trail was confusing.

The birds are friendly , but the noise are just irritating.

So yeah?

THREE MORE DAYS TO ANNIVERSARY !!!

My oh my. Why am i so excited about?

----------------------------------------------------------

Tomorrow gonna go to old work place, call the interview place, go buy mum medicine and hey ho, that's it i guess so?

---------------------------------------------------------

NOW, IM WISHING MY TWO BEST FRIEND PLUS OTHER FRIENDS GOOD LUCK.

For their O level results of course. Heeeees.

Tolong call saya ye.

GGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

2010-01-10T03:11:00.002+08:00

Been going out lately after staying home. Such a bore.

Interviews, works. I need money already , im broke!

I need to get a work already?

Anniversary in a few days time n oh! i so excited.

Urm , what else to say?

Bf have been playing the com lately. Feel so unsecure?

Watever.

I need a work , i want it now.

ehh wait , i want it on thursday. heeeeeee.

God, please give me a miracle?

2010-01-07T23:21:00.001+08:00

Besok interview keje.

Otak mampos.

2010-01-07T03:19:00.003+08:00

Hey-HOO.

Met Boyfriend and wandi just now.

Damn , i enjoyed my Mcdonald dinner!

haha.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHH.

Will be going job searching at singapore.

Hope will get a job ngan zubat.

MONEY come to me pls?

Searching for full time job. N ehh , jgn tanya kenapa.

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Okaaay everybody !

GOOOOLLLLLLLEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKK!

2010-01-06T04:00:00.002+08:00

Can i have this for my 18th birthday pleaseeeee??

Alaaaaaaa , boleh lah ! boleh lah !

I miss BF. k dah.

2010-01-04T00:24:00.003+08:00

Yesterday went to Ubi to see bf doing his practicals.

Sadly to say he failed again. haaaaaaah.

Tak tawu lah biler dia nak pass =_=".

I dont know what else to say.

So -----------------------------------------

I'm curious . I dont know how long should i actually gonna be with boyfriend.

I never knew that i loved him so much , too much.

So again , when will boyfriend marry me?

riiiiiiiiight.

10 months to 18. *shake ah shake* haha!

2009-12-31T16:05:00.000+08:00

your just like danial.
Im done.

2009-12-31T02:26:00.004+08:00

SHAHINDRA HAS BEEN FAKED BY SOMEONE.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

Too much for loving someone. Congrats ar siool !

Cinta fakeeeeeeeeeeeeed.

Mari semua ~~~~~~~~~~~

GOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK !

2009-12-31T01:27:00.005+08:00

So yeah.

It's the ending chapter of december.

I've been bloghopping and to my surprise, every blog talks about "these year gonna end soon , A year with so many obstacles, so many stress, hoping that 2010 gonna be a good year".

Well, i guess that hoping for a good year every single year is really irritating? Don't you think so? You know that there would be many obstacles in a year and you can't run away from it. From my view, i dont think i need any wishes for 2010. Okaaay , wait !

I wish that

-i would be in higher nitec.

-stay strong with boyfriend.

-stay close to all my mates esp; bestfriends.

So yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah? I guess 3 wishes for now.

Dammmmmn , it's a few days till anniversary? OMG.

I dont know how to say it but im gonna say it , i think im dammmmnnn glad that i have a irritating boyfriend!!!!!! Serious.

He seems like a friend or a big brother to me , but he's my boyfriend. Youu know?

But still , i hate him because his older than me , by 6 god damn years. ewwww?

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

MARI KITA SEMUA GOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK UNTOK PESTA 2010 INI!!!

GOOOOOOOOOLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

2009-12-29T21:30:00.002+08:00

It's been fine.

I wonder, why is it so hard for people to get into relationships.

Let's just say , things are not so good for certain people for relationships.

Hmm , it just need understanding. Isnt that right?

An understanding really helps couples alot.

I dont know. It's hard to find the ONE . Just need to keep on trying and trying.

Hmmm , i havent had the real fight or quarelling issues with boyfriend so i dont know how its feels like.

Just to whoever that's been having these quarelling issues, just endure aight.

So , COUNTDOWN 2010 people? Sapa nak joooinn !

Been staying at home today , tomorrow would be going to work , get my pay , and maybe off to hospital. I guess?

2009-12-29T00:14:00.002+08:00

Life as per normal.

It's been a freak n hell yeah it's crazy.
Been out with boyfriend lately , almost a few days or so.
Spent more time with him , dont ask me , i dont even know why.
Boyfriend momma warded in SGH , been visiting her more or so. Been closer to her.
SO yeah , i guess everyone's excited about the new sinagpore idol winner? Very proud of the three malay boys or so called hunk or goodlooking gentleman for staying top. I guess, this is the only way that malay could find themselves better than others. No , im not trying to be racist. Positive people!.
Was invited for countdown 2010 with boyfriend cousins, but then was invited later with best friend and his swensen treat. best friend qida wanna hop top. idk? must ask boyfried first.
So yeah , thats it ? Besides, my computer is making me crazy.

2009-12-25T00:35:00.002+08:00

So yeah. Hey.
Yes, not been posting any post lately.
What is the good thing in relationship?
Is it the hug or the kisses that ur boyfriend gives you everytime both of you meet.
Is it the touch or smell that make you feel comfortable.
Is it the fight or arguements that can make you too know about each other more.
Is it about the laughter or the smile that make you dream of it everytime.
I guess, its EVERYTHING.

Just a random relationship post i guess?
Have not been doing much lately . Talking about Exam results , *thud*. Uhh, such a crap.
Tomorrow will be following mom to a marriage place, going to massage the bride and bathed her with rose flower tops and so and so. huhu. So yeah? Christmas=Sleeping day. Or maybe out with boyfriend to ??? somewhere we belong? idk.
Waiting for Best friend fir for my delicious swensens treat and of course his ben and jerry's =_=".
I think im going to faint already. I'm starting to crave for Mcdonalds, again. psych.
& yeah , i guess im a lil bit into POP ART. How the hell those people do thaaat? GOSH.

Im out , peace.

2009-12-20T00:13:00.003+08:00

Okay. hello. Life is fine now i guess. Been slacking at home like a few days or so. Im just too plain lazy to go out. Ya know. Been playing with kittens lately and gosh , they're so adorable.Went to cousins birthday for a while and back home after sending boyfriend to bustop.

So yeah? Tomorrow would be going to picnic with whole family along with bf. Pancing along i guess. huhu. So i guess that's about it? Results are coming out soon , and seriously , im scared. 4 more days.

To whoever that's been trying to irrtate best friend fir life for these few days or weeks, please stop itttt. His needs a life to move on. Puhlease?

2009-12-14T16:55:00.005+08:00

hello!!

Gosh . How am i suppose to elloborate this very special occasion?

ok ! here we gooo!

11 Monthsary was super-duper AWESOME!

Boyfriend pick me up at home and we went to bugis. He told me to sit down at Mcdonalds and wait for 15 Mins till he come back. He said , it was a surprise. Then after he came back , he said we'll have to wait because the stocks havent arrived yet. Then we ate at Food Junction while waiting for his so called "stock".

We then headed over to the Adidas shop and boyfriend told me to look around for stuff that i like. When i turned around , he was no where in sight. So i just look around. Soon he came back and i scolded him for going without me and he said he was at the adidas shop. WTH.

At a nearby christmas tree, boyfriend hugged me from behind. I wanted to walk, butHe hold my hand and stare at my eyes. His right hand was in his pocket and i saw a disney box. He opened the box and it wasssss an exclusive cinderella and donald duck ring with our names and love date inside it. I was so full with enjoyment and hugged him till i cry. Gosh , it was the most memoriable thing.

Then It was my turn to surprise.
After reaching Ang Mo kio Interchange , I blindfold him from ang mo kio till Night safari. Yes, indeed. Haha, everyone was looking at me holding him at ang mo kio, wondering why a guy is blindofolded with a snow cap. He was really scared , and yeah , he kept on thinking all the stupid stuff he could imagine when he's blindfolded. We queued at the bus number 138, went up the bus with boyfriend still blindfolded. By then , Everyone was really really looking at me and HIM. haha. So off to the bus and for half an hour, we arrived at Night safari.

He still didnt know where we are since he was blindfolded. I told him to count to 100 steps and he counted. After counting 100 steps, we were already in front of the night safari entrance. Then , i slowly opened his blinfold snow cap , and i showed him the night safari signs.

There, he was laughing real hard and smile all the way. He jumped for excitement and he hugged me so tight. It was his wish to go to night safari. & yeah , im happy that his happy.

Each one of us revealed our suprise gift cost , Disney ring : $112 , Night safari : $84 .

We enjoyed our journey so muccch and yeah, this is a memory that we could not forget. =)

2009-12-13T01:01:00.003+08:00

PISSED. That's it.

I wonder, wassup with you trying to hold me back from all my new friends and best friends? who are you again? Stop giving yourself an excuse which can make me re-friend u again. Your attitude isnt needed for my future wise.

Gosh .

I dont want to get started about 11 monthsary.

gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

All i wanted was going somewhere romantic and all he said was " kita gi bugis ah beli seluar" =_=".

dahhhhh. aku malas.

& damn , its just so tiring. I better sleep now sia.

Headache.

2009-12-11T00:44:00.002+08:00

GOSH.

Well, hello.

Sorry for the randoms last post. yeah, was down at that momment.

Ok, so people. How's life?

I guess mine is so perfect right now. I mean , besides getting hurt and all. =_="

So yeah, bf came over to my house . Mom dad and us then headed over to grandma house. Huhu. eat eat eat. chat chat chat. DONE.

Went home and yaaaaaaaaaahh here i am.

You know , im really eager to celebrate my 1st anniversary.

I dont even know why. haaaaah.

Gonna go out tomorrow with My ITE girls. huhu! cant wait!

thats all people.

Im tired today.

I want bf to hug me and put me in bed. so chaaaos!

2009-12-09T12:34:00.001+08:00

Life is so Tense right now.

I want my best friend now.

Everything change. Really change.

I better keep my mouth to myself.

aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

2009-12-08T05:23:00.002+08:00

heyas.

It's so hard to sleep nowdays since ive been awake through the night and only sleep during the day.

I've been having my nightmare dreams about my school results and i'm just so eager to know about it all. I'm just scared that i would fail plus , unable to go for higher-nitec.

I've been realising my performance in school from primary to ite never did changed that much.

I've been cracking my head , why i was so playful during primary and secondary school times.

I was able to go O levels, but i just make it as a plain knowledge thing cos i was too playful.

If i were to put my mindset in N level, i would probably be in the same step as my secondary school mates now. Gosh. How i wish. I really wish.

I know i can go through more of studying , its just im too plain lazy.

Teachers from primary to ITE were all dissapointed in me. I know.

I thought ITE is just a "stupid school" but no, i guess they prove me wrong.

ITE can be a crazy school with all different kinds of students . Some are wrong /right.

Why wouldnt i think in the first place that ITE can change my life?

It gives you an easier SUM rather that O levels and the exams are simple. It just need a lil bit of understanding and memorizing. .

Mom always says " if you know you can do more in ITE , why do you have to become like those people who are not putting their mindset into it and not join the group which always study?."

Well, i guess she's right though. I've been giving myself hopes lately.

I've been planning to take Private O levels but i asked myself , is it worth-it? I know , i need to change my mindset and yes, if i were to say i need supporters, i already had all of them.

Old classmates sat for O level examination really make me feel so JEALOUS.

I know, private O's is not an easy exams. You need to really crack your head.

I was thinking to take private diploma too, but , will i be accepted in any ordinary Jobs? Based from people, Private diploma doesnt count.

I just dont know what i want. I'm still thinking. Higher Nitec = O levels.

I really want to go to higher nitec , hoping that my result will give me some peace.

2009-12-07T01:43:00.002+08:00

Today , meet boyfriend at 4pm+.

Went to beach road to buy his stuff. Procees to bugis and watch twilight new moon.

Kaaaaaaaaaaay.

Ratings : 7.5/10.

Gosh . It's just plain stupid lah the story ended up with "will u marry me".

Firstly , its to draaaggy. Secondly , it make me wanna sleep. Thirdly , there's not much action.

So basically , i didnt enjoy it. For the first time in movies. riiight. Boyfriend is the still the same, got a blank idea what the hell the story is all about.

Well, didnt want to watch it at the first place but boyfriend wanted too so much because it reminds him about the first twilight movie that we watch for our first date =_=". Sadly , i still yet to know the reason why girls love twilight so much. BIG ? . Maybe vampires and warewolfs are just simply not my type of theme selection movies. I guess, harry potter is much preffered for me. So sorry for the twilight fans, i didnt mean to misudge twilight.

2009-12-05T08:34:00.003+08:00

Good Morning tu all the ladies and gentleman.

Firstly ,

SELAMAT HARI JADI KEPADA NADHIRAH BTE ( AKU TAK LEH CKP ) YANG KE LAPAN BELAS !!!!! Nad, jgn cengeng ah. huhu!

Yesterday didnt sleep the whole day , wanted to sleep after boyfriend went to work, but qida msg and asked to accompany her lepaking around.

Went Far east plaza to whee lock place to bugis and to tampines. huhu.

I'm still budgeting this G shock watch. It's damn limited n damn , i need to buy it urgently sei. Stress doh.huhu. Found what i need for BF and BF bdae. haha! Budget budget doh. huhu. Sapa pandai negotiate? Nak turunkan harga ah!

Qida bought her shoes and bag at Bugis And hell,

Im not trying to be racist here, But why does Chinese ah lians like to Over react just for an accidental push? Mcm tetek sia. If you think that BUGIS is a very slow, big space to walk around , well ur wrong lah bitch. It's the 2nd time already sia , happen to ah lian. Waaaaaaaaah. Making big Fuss. As if people care about their big "OOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHH, CHIBAI!". Well bitch, go buy yourself some ORIGINAL stuff at ION instead of all the cheap stuff at bugis.

Besides , chinese are all rich people. Dont tell me you couldnt afford it. HAH. Oh , or maybe, go Eat some more if you dont want to be flying when you hit a fat women at bugis street. tetek ko.

Sorry, nonono! Im not mad at all the chinese people. Just her! Her. That ah lian! Super-duper mad. *thud*

Back to the story , after bugis went to meet Boyfriend and Tax. Yeah. Chatted a lil bit and went home at 8+, 9+ reach home. Then sleeep. huhu. Yeah so dats all.

2009-12-03T05:33:00.002+08:00

Happy brithday Dear bestie NURUL AQIEDA

To my great bestie, enjoy ur 21st birthday!

Hope you suceed in lyfe & babe , i always love you lah ~!

& not forgetting My greatest best grandmother in the whole world and galaxy.

Selamat hari jadi MAKPAH KU CINTA! Sorry tak dapat turun bdae mak.

ILY so much nenek. =)

Okay.

So here it goes.

Didnt go out today. Was planning to meet boyfriend but ended up sleeping.

yeah, boyfriend freaking mad. huhu! I hope i can meet him today. Goosh, im missing him.

Lepak with best friend just now, from 11.30 till 4.30 am. haha! Was fun though. Talking how my life is nooooooooooow and all the shits that have been giving me a hard time. & gossips of course. haha. well, i guess thats the end. Thanks best friend fir, Mat gelap. gagaaaaaaa~! Rara ulalala!

& yes, ive change my blogskins. It's not irritating as it is.

Im so lucky to see MAN/BOYS crying in front of me. Its so random.

2009-12-02T04:35:00.008+08:00

IM SO GLAD THAT SCHOOL IS OVER.

WISHING FOR THE BEST IN RESULTS.

Beo paper today was ok i guess, It's tricky. But I'm able to do. But im just scared i would fail. It's ok to just pass the paper withouht having an extremelty good grade. But its sure bad when u just fail the paper. Gaaaaah! I have the confident that i would pass *finger cross baby!*

Searching for a temporary job. huhu.

So , if i were to be in Higher-Nitec. I would probably take Event Management or Banking. Urh. IF only k. If not , most probably be working or taking any other courses.

Or maybe taking Diploma in therapist. Following mom.

Lek ah dulu , pelan2 ah siot. Sesungguhnya ku tak sabar results. &&&& 11 Monthsary coming soon doh

I THINK IM IN LOVE WITH HIS VOICE!

He's a so called a chris brown twin.Name : Christopher John

2009-11-27T04:09:00.006+08:00

Idk.

I have a lot , like a lot to tell you guys today.

I know.....

Up there, was my BEO presentation. It was supposed to be a serious presentation , but i turn it into a body showcase show. Ms phua dont even care about it. So yeah, was happily showing off my fats while Ms phua rate our presentation. Haha, im sure im gonan fail this. lol.

Now, sitting with my Cadbury hot chocolate and nutela bread. Im ready to type everything. ok everything.

First, Damn im soooo glad to see Mr horny hunk Bff firdaus. It's been weeks since i last saw him and damn im so glad i met him today. Besides his sleepy and tiring face, he entertained me throughout from uh 12am + till 3am. Okay , its the MOST , MOST early morning time i ever lepak with him besides hanging around at home and watching him do his hair straightening. =_=". I guess, Someone's getting more and more handsome that he has girls surrounding him. OMG. I still cant believe that..... (inside folder). lol. Hey, im really happy to see that man.

One thing i love about him is ; he never shout at me when i pull his hair legs. huhu! That's why he's my best friend. Sungguh ku cinta kau laah mat hitam. haha!

Second, Didnt go around much. Just went to pearl's centre with mom and dad. & yet , they quarelled again about this one shop which mom dont even know what the name is. We're like walking round and round and round along chinatown . Durh. Dad was freaking mad. ahaxz. Yeah. MAD. So after quarelling which you will know im the one who always gonna stop them from quareeling, went to BEDOK corner to eat. Then off home. THEN i met FIrdaus. Riiiight.

Third, I think im going to listen to FIr and Nad comments , gonna buy him a G-shock watch for 1 year ann. What should i buy for him for 11th monthsary? HaiyaH! And His birthday? Plus another firdaus present? Adoooi. Sesungguhnya ku out of cash. haha. Keje! Work! Work!

Fourth, I dont know lah k. It seems that my status with my boyfriend now is a little bit shacky . Gosh, i really hate his past. I mean it. ALOT. I As much as i hate his past, that is as much i hate him. IDK . I know its lame. But siaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal Lah. Setop it siol. TO YOU, see for yourself. Dah terbakar dlm oven duk diam2 isap shisha sudah lah. Lermak. Bikin ku paaanaaas.

Ok dah, thats all i have to say.

Eh wait !! I havent study yet. I need to study! Gosh. Its exams. Takda mood.

Here's a video of me and indra. Watch and comment k.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA HAJI PEOPLE!

2009-11-25T01:50:00.004+08:00

Thats for YOU

Gosh.

I dont like it . Okay serious.

Stop lying okay. Stop it. I thought i can trust u. But NO.

I feel like slapping your F face. Oh i wish i could!

SOOOOOOOOOYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!

KL cant be friends with KL.

Because its goona hurt the KB. BITCH.

gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

INSANE.MAD.SLAP.CONTROLS.NO PATIENCE.

YOUR SUCH AN F

2009-11-23T15:10:00.003+08:00

Have you ever been through jealousy with a best friend and her/his friends?
NOW I FEEL/SEE IT.
Ohhhh. I just hope someone can see it too.
You promised. & yet you forgotten about it.
Shyt u.

2009-11-22T01:09:00.004+08:00

Im still thinking .

Should i buy hima G-shock watch for 11th monthsary or 1 year ann?

Gosh, i still dont know lah!

He want thios exact watch!~

How ar? *garok kepala*.

*thinking*.

It Cost $120 . I guess its ok lah. But idk?

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Tell me , it is worth it?

2009-11-16T21:03:00.002+08:00

I'm just too worried.

Too worried for boyfriend.

He's been failing every test that he had. He's been trying his best. I can really see that. But why does the his career making his life more miserable. His struggling out there, and he's trying to find a way out. He's been suffering this shit for years, n still these things are complicated for him.

I'm just worried that he's gonna suffer more. Paying a huge some of money if he get's terminated. I dont want to see him suffer, it hurts me. I just wish everything would be cool for him. Ya know? His a very good man. Yes he is, with a low mindset, confidence. I just wish he could upgrade that. I just wish he could be that strong. I just wish. NO matter, i will always be here with him. Supporting every failure or suceeding journey. He will always be my best man. ILY.

Now, ok wait. I'm gonna learn my BPF's paper today. Since wednesday is the CT. I need to learn, i need to pass, i need to get an A or at least a B for this. This subject is a lil bit complicated + MATHS. Oh. Im sure i can do it. I know i can do it. Study mindset on. On on on. NEver fail, never give up. I have to put my positive mindset on. I must remember by tomorrow. & Bz for the week. Off studying like crazy again. Please, make yourself useful sahira. Your attendence is worst.

2009-11-15T00:15:00.002+08:00

Salams ; p

Back from woodlands lamer.
Went jogging with bf just now . IT was so much fun!

Just wishing boyfriend would pass his IPPT test this monday. Eh sayaang , better pass taw! Kalau tak, i cium u many2! gaaaaah!

Back from jogging , went wdls lamer. Hangs around

& went home. Overall, im happy.

Ira rasa kan ira nak diet ah, ira dah gemoooooook siol korang. Kan kan kan ...? I know uh! Diet!Diet!Diet!Kurus!kurus!kurus! I hate fats.

No more makanan sedap2! Betol. Makan nasi

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikeet je. heees. Insyallah. Doa2 doakan ira boleh kurus k korang!

Ira pun nak laaawa mcm koraaang2 jugak! Hees!

Tak salah kan. Everyone wanna slim!

2009-11-14T01:12:00.002+08:00

Salams all =).

Nothing much to say ; cos i love my BF so much.
Happy 10th Monthsary darling , i sayaang u.
Gave him a photo frame and a small note inside it.
Heees. Its quite cool. Love it many many.

Did nothing today.

Shahindra,

Your the best man i ever had. I will never forget this cherish momments you had given me all this while and damn, ur so gorgeous dude.

I will always be here supporting every single thing that you do & i believe in you. Don't give up in life because i know you can do much much better than the old you. You're my one and only.

Just be yourself sayang & i will always love you.

2009-11-10T02:35:00.002+08:00

LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE JUST CANT STOP HATING ME.

I guess ur too jealous cos i'm much more important to that other person than u.

Girl, it's ur wake up call.

You better be his terrible bitch, if you cant be that super-cool babe.

Got that riiiight?

This one for you.

Lastly,

Four words to you;

KISS MY FUCKING ASS.

Im satisfied now. Let's GO!

Can't be like me? Become a loser.

2009-11-08T13:00:00.004+08:00

Boyfriend, this is for you.

My Crazy boyfriend , i love you for now and as long as can be.

So stop worrying.

your the Best boyfriend & Gosh. You're my every piece in the puzzle.

You handle me well these 9 months and i hope you will always do.

Cant wait for our 10th monthsary. Which i dont even know why?

Hope we last looooooooooooooooooong K.
Got money already then anta meminang. Thank you. =). huhu!

Went off torning at changi yesterday with boyfriend and wandi and new friend hamdi.
Went fishing and ohhh, its was tiring. No fish at all. No luck. Dad and mum came over for one hour and off home since mum had to work early. 7am took bus home. Was gone from the start i sat on the bus with bf until wdls interchange. Then sudden wake up and both of us got semut2 and leg cramp. We both stand straight like the stupids. So yeah. Back home, rest & eat. Then BF off home. Thats all u guess for today.?

Two of four kittens in my crib! They're still blind and mute. Cant wait for them to open their eyes! Anyone want one? Its impossible to take care of 2 cats , 4 kittens, 4 fish. & Brownie soon gonna have a baby. So, i think its complicated lah. Msg/email me if your interested! Please ADOPT! huhu!I'm done here.

Time check ; 1.17pm.
Next move; Sleep forever.

2009-11-07T00:02:00.006+08:00

Things today we all SUPER DOPPER FUN!

Went for Office wear Test today & Enjoyed the whole day out!

I enjoyed so much ++ its so much enthusiasm!

Hehes.

After school, reach home. Wait for boyfriend.

Boyfriend got specs problems.

Then Went to the spectacle shop.

Service charge free because im the regular customer. huhu!

Then off to kompang. & now, home sweet home.

Did some photoshoot with boyfriend.

Haha, he said i look like a boy.

Will upload them tomorrow!

Best friend FIR, thanks for helping me to choose my office wear. *hugs*

&& Girlfriends <3.

I dont wanna know, i dont wanna hear. All i know that im gonna think about all the positive points in school and never gonna pull down again by this act's around me. It just to good to not think about it. Besides, no point sioooooL. MNL .

IM DONE HERE.

2009-10-30T01:05:00.002+08:00

Im SUPER DUPER HAPPY.

& let me tell you people, i won't forget this memoriable seventeen birthday!

Boyfriend bought me the bear with the happy birthday sign and the photo frame. I looove it! VEry sweet seii.

Best friend fir present me with a bouqet of BEARS , Six in it and OMG, is superduper BIG! Gosh, this been years since i want that type of bouqet & Ive got it! For my seventeen birthday. && isnt it fcuking Sweeet!!!!! Awwwwwwwwww!!! I LOVE MY BEST FRIEND! I REALLY DO!

OK, NOW THE WHOLE STORY GOES LIKE THIS

My Sweetest Girlfriends !

Oh-shit. I love them truckloads!

Strike 12 am, was busily talking to boyfriend otp and was walking to toilet, mom gave me a two presents! Open it up and guess what ? A G -SHOCK WATCH AND ADDIDAS PERFUME. Awww, issint that sweet??? I love you mummy! Open up boyfriend present and it was The photo frame and a letter. hehes.

Was at school happily and sadly.suddenly during break time they surprise me with a SUPER cute cake. Haha. Very sweet sey. Lyeena and shah gave me a CUP for a present , really appreaciate it. Thanks korang! Then after that , i wanted to went home straight as i was having a bad tummy ache and diarrhoea & plus i dont have the mood but girlfriends told me to stay for a little while.

So, they brought me to the nearest block in school, and they make me sit in the middle of the table. They told me they want to confess something and it didnt turn out to be

"CONFESSING" instead it turn out to be "SABO-ING". They flood my head and body with baby powder and giggled all the way. Haaaaas. It was so funny. Then i started to chased after them throwing baby powder for a little while just for the fun of it. Haha. It was so Fun and yes, i couldnt stop thinking about it.

Went back to school and our DM started being kepo asking me "what happen to u?". K, fast forward, rest for a while. Went inside the cubical and naz,lyeena sabo me again with baby powder making my face and body worst, it looks like im a ghost. After bathing , hang out for a while and back home.

At home, was busilly chatting with mom until i didnt realise that Firdaus was in front of my house. He gave me The bouquet with 6 bears in it which i told you all that it was super BIG. haaah. I HUGGED him ! lol. Then he waited for me to get ready and off to Kranji mrt to buy my office wear. Was able to find my office skirt but the long kemeja, still yet to buy!

Mom and dad and abg faiz (kompang) then fetch us from kranji mrt and we ate at West coast. After eating , went searching for DURIANS but was not able to find one and im super duper mad! But its ok. huhu. Reach home. & had fun. Then sleep. Huhu.

THANKS TO ; Mummy, Boyfriend, best friend Fir, Lyeena,naz,esah,nad,aini,abg faiz.

& Those who wishes me a HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

I LOVE YOU ALL.

I will never forget this memories that all of you have given me.

This memories will be kept inside my heart.

My sweetest seventeen birthday.

2009-10-27T23:07:00.002+08:00

A DAY BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY.
FAMILY FIGHTS.
DAD GOES AWAY.
MOM CHANGE PADLOCK
& BROTHER STILL HOT HEADED.
THANKS FOR GIVING ME THESE PRESENTS DEAR FAMILY.
Its really touching.

Like i told you people, my birthday always sucks.
& lastly , BOYFRIEND COULDNT CELEBRATE MY BIRTHDAY TOO.

SO, i guess i dont need any other more further expectations for my birthday.
BIRTHDAY= Throw it all away. USELESS.

When will you guys stop it?

2009-10-26T22:51:00.002+08:00

Boyfriend gave me a bouquet of bear and a heart with three rosses in it for my upcoming birthday. Thanks Bf =). It's hard not celebrating my birthday with boyfriend, oh well. He can't do anything because he's in cisco right now. Just have to accept the fact ya . Huhu.

In School, i dont need to explain. Strictly for girlfriends.
Nadhirah owe me durian for my birthday present! yeey. Hope to find one tomorrow at geylang!
Nak durian! Nak jugak nak jugak nak jugak! huhu.

I'm happy cos there's still friends to celebrate my bdae.
Birthday plans, going out with mom buy office wear. Then after that will eat dinner at eatzie's. I guess thats it. heees.Saturday, maybe going out with bf to johor . It's gonna be fun. Please, make my day. =)

2009-10-21T22:50:00.002+08:00

All i just have to say for now that i wont be loving you anymore. Its hurting me and yes, i hate you so fucking much. Its hard to get rid off you and i know, you would probably be lost right now.

uh. stop it. i just hate u.

2009-10-19T03:19:00.002+08:00

Gosh.
Did nothing today. Woked up at 3pm. Watch soriority row and urh, it was fun but scary sial.
Then at 7pm meet boyfriend after crying badly cos i will not meet him for another five days or so. I know, im a crybaby. Then Boyfriend went off at 9pm. Then went home and lepak.

Chatted with indra ex-girlfriend and i feel rather odd. But still, i feel that there's a friendship bond between us even though, yes of course, she's my boyfriend ex girlfriend. Digging stories out of her past time stories with indra really cool me down. MY instincts will always be instincts cos the way i feel about her, is deffinetly out of the box. I feel a little ease after talking to her, and it make me calm down. We did talk about our past time and new time, my problems with indra and all & i just feel that she is someone which i would probably call her my friend.
She advice me on certain things and so, and i'm glad she's supporting in a way. We just have to keep it this way , She loves her boyfriend , i love my boyfriend.

Played the word game or something at facebook really crack my head. Gosh. It's really irritating and i just feel like slapping that game. Lol. But still, im Third baby!
After that played cooking dinner dash dinnertown studio for preview. Meaning you only can play for 1 hour. Gosh, was seriously having fun playing the game reaching level 13 , skali preview dahbis. Like wanna maki like that kan!

Can anyone buy me dinner dash dinnertown studio for my upcoming birthday . PLeasE? Anyone?

I guess, thats it. Tomorrow gonna go to school and will be karoake-ing with girlfriends! huhu. Long time never karoake! cant wait for it. Now, waiting for zahidah to call me, lambat siol. huhu.

2009-10-18T01:01:00.002+08:00

Hehes, hello!
Yesh im back babes.
Well, i told you my boyfriend slept over my place right ? hehes, so yeah. The next day which is today , or last petang, Boyfriend went home.

We planned to go to johore since its been months for me since i touched that placed and worst , 3 years for boyfriend. huhu. So met each other at 4pm+ and reach johore at around 5.45pm+ since it was Jammed which would normally happens everyday. So just hangout at city square and we did shopped but for CD's! We bought, cinderella ( the original one!), bohsia,soriority row,transfomer 2 and ironman. Huhu. Then we hang around. Wanted to watch soriority row ( before we knew the cd is out ), but we turned it down. So yeah, Long time never isap sampoerna ( i think so , sorry for the ciggarettes erors, idk how to spell ah, jgn gundu kejap), at last i did. Hehes.

I treat boyfriend at Secret recipe for our belated 9th Monthsary.Got nothing to present, at least this will do =). Ordered lamb shank and i have no idea what is the name of boyfriend food's order but its the chicken with a cheese inside it, Ice lemon tea and ice choclate with cream with two butter rice. haha.Supposingly wanted to order dessert but both of us was seriously Full with the foods up there. YUUUUUM!.

SO boyfriend later on asked me to walk2 again at city suare and we went in the innercity path. Boyfriend then lead me to the cd shop and told me to look for any other cd that i wanted to buy, and he said he was going to the toilet. Pffft. Then i jst agreed. Boyfriend then came back and lead me to the exit sign near the lift and he gave me a bear with two hearts saying "I LOVE YOU". OMG!, he lied to me when he tryna say that he was going to the toilet. pfft. Obviously he's gone buying at the nearest shop. Idk. Lol. It was so sweet.

THAATS MY 9th Monthsary GIft!

What i gave him for 9thmontsary;

A sony ericcson handphone

Treat cd's

Treat secret recipe.

Hahas, its the best. I love you, BOYE!

2009-10-17T00:23:00.003+08:00

Bitch!

haaaaaaaaaas. SO hello once again. Thanks for being patience. I know, the number of visitors kept on rising. So yeah.

Its been a few days or so i have not been posting any post because im just too lazy to do so. So yeah?

Life was perfectly fine this few days. Went to geylang with a bunch of friends, or what most girls will say , "Girlfriends". haas. Its been fun hanging out with them and hell yeah, we've got a lot of fun!

Huhu.

Now, boyfriend is with me and obviously he's sleeping my house. huhu, eh koraanggg , at lasst, dapat jumpa dia. Yeye!! huhu.

Well, school life was ok lah ? Even though [insertfolder] something happened which you all would probably know. so yeahh.

K lah. i think i'll end the post here.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, yes. Not forgetting, happy seventeen birthday aqmal. hees.

& KORANG , ive found my birthday partner.Dia sama birthday dan sama umur dengan ku! Entah2, mak aku ngan dia beranakan kita sebelah2 bilik kot. gagagaga.

K lah. Takin cares.

Sampai disini saja ok syg2 ku.

Signoff,

Ira the maid. lol.

2009-10-14T20:15:00.003+08:00

I guess that's the end of your LALALA land story?
Well, I just don't get anything right. No matter, i won't even try to say a thing. Mom and dad kept on telling me to apologize to you but i don't think it matters at all to you. Cos the final sentence you said to me was "don't take back all your words". Don't you worry , i'm not going to say anything or ruined anything in your future life and urh , what's the used of telling you anyways, you will still be hot-headed. You blamed me for everything that had happened in your past life, and cheers for you , you won't be suffering it anymore. Good luck & hope you will be glad and happy in your future life.
You choose the path you wanted, not me.
So dont come back and blame me for every little mistake you have done.
& remember, i suffer more in my childhood days rather than u. Because i have to take care of you, protect you, & accept every mistakes that you did cos your someone speacial in the family and most importantly , My parents don't want me when i was a baby & they rather watch you , nuture you every single night and day , and left me alone with a maid. My life may be as pathetic as yours in the past , its urs now. Good luck. I'm not asking for a sympathy, but its the fact. & yes, the truth hurts.

Im not going to say anything else. My life is perfectly normal and its great to be in school again! huhu. Im happy with the way i am. Thanks shah aka lyeena boyfriend for the cakes and the coffee bean cookies that u gave me. DELICIOUS! Ive change my room a little bit here n there. N yah, i think it's nice. haaaaaaah. I feel very irritated cos since im alone at home now, mom and dad has been giving me extra orders at home. Too much i guess? But nvm. I'll endure.

Thats it , im done blogging now. I guess my parents are trying to blame me for all this shit that happen? or Their just mad at me for not listening to them? I just dont get it.

PS: I saw this one hot aka cute guy while was at the train just now, and urh, i think i had a crush on him. Haha, goosebumps all over my body siol. But, just for 6 minutes entertaiment and pffft, i will never see him again. Can i have his facebook or hp number pls? Wait , i think his in cisco, or navy? idk. lol.

2009-10-11T22:26:00.002+08:00

PATIENCE is NEEDED.

IM SPEECHLESS

2009-10-09T23:34:00.003+08:00

There's a limit for every relationship that we had.
I JUST HIT THE BOILING POINT.
Soon its gonna be the end of the road for us,
So, get ready to be single again.
Good luck.

2009-10-08T21:44:00.001+08:00

Guess who's back?
Huhu. You may recognize him from somewhere.
Yes, his my ex. Pfft.

Ok, so yeah. I met him just now around 2.30pm. We have fun, chatting and all.
Yes, i know. Random right? Well, yes, i do asked permission from my boyfriend to meet him.
Went IMM and eat at Long john silver, aqmal first time knowing that long john sell cheese. chronic babe. Then off to outram to buy my mom's medicine and he sent me home. Well, not actually , but he still send me till marsiling mrt. haha.

Watch 17 again just now after so long waiting for brother to download it from somewhere idk.
Gosh, the story is so touching lah? so sweet. Zac efron really did well in his acting scenes. Especially when he cried when he was in court, he make me cry too.

I know, this a long time sorry but urh ! The story is fucking awesome. Seriously, watch it just now. I fucking love the story sia. You guys have to watch it ya. & People, this is very personal yeah. Dont watch it unless your parents is sleeping. Ok? Go!

Now, after watching some romantic couple movies,
I think i'm missing my boyfriend.
OK wait , yes, i missing him. So MUCH.
Sayang , i miss you =(

2009-10-05T01:31:00.003+08:00

I ever asked myself , why issit so hard to be happy with someone that i love. & now i know the answer "cos when u need to be happy , u need to have a lot of patience and sacrifice for someone you loved."

Things are just as normal as it is now.
Boyfriend Book out on the saturday and we have some great time together. Its saddening when i came to his house and we kinda talk, we realise that getting him into cisco was a slight mistake.
For example ; 9th Monthsary, he couldnt celebratye it as he is still in camp , and it hurts me but it doesnt hurts me that much until..........
My seventeen Birthday, which would be on 28th October. It's saddening when u hope for something doesnt came up espeacially when u notice that he is so called the only boyfriend through my entire life who is still in a relationship mode with me. You know? For SIXTEEN years, ive been celebrating it alone, yes alone and i thought this year would be the one time BIG SURPRISE for me as im having boyfriend by my side. But No.. Ok, i guess it hurts soo much lah. I just dont wanna elaborate more.
Why? Why does everything that i planned, anuything that i want so much with boyfriend must be corrupted by other plans. Gosh, it irritates me. Ive gotta let this ouut.
EVerything that i want which never happened or corrupted by other plans.
~Bouquet of rose flowers
~Any popular brand necklace
~Boyfriend license ; class 2A and 3
~Presents
~ Every monthsary celebration
~ Birthday celebration with boyfriend
~ Stop money issues
~boyfriend stable job
~Boyfriend new handphone
~motorcycle .
~helmet with my very own caderella design
I guess thats it, but i know theres many more that i want.

Boyfriend msged me just now after we hang up the phone.

He said

"Syg,maafkan i byk2 kerana i impian u byk tak
tercapai an tak dpt bahagia...kerana i jugak u kene tabah and bersabar..umur mcm
u tk sepatutnya terima begini....haiz kesian i tgk u cm hini..apalah nasib u dpt
bf mcm i nie..sayang i tk dpt bahagiakan u seperti org lain."

Sampai bila lagi sayang mi kene tabah dan bersabar untok u? I dah tak boleh tahan lagi.
Its not hurting you,
But its HURTING me.

2009-10-02T15:25:00.002+08:00

Tell ya'll a secret ; im fucking tired. Really.
Gosh, its been tiring nowdays and urh, i dont even know how do i start elaborating.

Okay , it was fine last tuesday when i went out with ite mates.We meet each other at 11am and ended our journey at 10+pm. So reached home and sleep.

The next day, which is fine wednesday went out hari raya-ing with boyfriend till 11+pm. Back home, slept at 2am.

Then the next day , fine thursday, woked up at 5am, 6 am went out of da house, send boyfriend to paya lebar for his camp. Hugs n kisses and bubboye and was home at 10am. 10 am sleep , 3pm woked up, manager called to come to work, 3.45 out of da house and 5pm reached work. Work till 12am and went home , reached at 12.45am. Sleep.

So yeah, SUPPOSINGLY, i was suppose to work at 9am today but i just cant stand it. My eyes are so damn heavy cos i dont have enough rest. So yeah, thats basically my life now. Gosh, my manager seriously mad at me sia. Pfft. But i just cant take it already. Im too tired. So yeah, ill be relaxing at home today.

GOSH, tomorrow gonna work again. So tiring kan? I feel like dying already. Nowww, i think i end my post here. Im getting lazier. be gonnneee ! lENGETTTT PE SIAA!

2009-09-28T00:07:00.002+08:00

Life is tough isnt it. i dont know where should i start.

I dont know why , i dont know how . It seems so hard for us.

I love him so much , oh yes i do but because of some matters, it makes our relationship stop.

I wonder, why am i always the one whom will start the big conversation first and ended up crying for no reason. Its hard, its really hard. I just dont know whether this relationship gonna last long.

For goodness sake, im just sixteen. There's alot more that i need to discover about love, relationships. I still need the hugged,kiss. The one whom gonna be my boyfriend -every-hour-msged. You know? His going off soon and i feel like im gonna be lonely, yes, the L word. I just dont know, whether i can accept the relationship right now. I dont really know what i want now? what is it? what is wrong with me? A hug? a kiss? A 24 hour msged ? what?, i just dont understand myself. It's getting crazier in my mind.

Yesterday, is the most painful momments that i ever had with bf. Yes, it all started with a big conversation on how "not so good" he was in dealing with "pujok". Then about money issues and what i wanted from a boyfriend. I know, with his standard right now, he couldnt afford to buy or present me with what i want & i told i feel so dissapointed. I even asked him, is it so hard to present me with what i want? I know, maybe u guys think that im using him. But no, i dont.I just want , for once, my own boyfriend present me with one thing that i ever wanted. Maybe, there's no luck in me, or maybe, i need the patience. Haiysh. I even told him that i gave up one him, n the most hurting part of all, i told him to let me go.

Now, i dont even know whether im gonna last long with him. I feel like dying already.

Its hurting me , indra

2009-09-26T02:14:00.002+08:00

Gosh, had a big fight just now with boyfriend. Gosh. I just dont know why im starting everything all over again. Gosh, i miss him so much. Too much. I dont know why the hell did i start a fight with him. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaah ! I feel like screaming now. Serious.

Im going crazy! Yes, i am. Got no plans tomorrow. I guess staying at home would be great. Again =_=". Anyone wanna go out tomorrow?

Gaaaaaaaaah. K, im still mad now. But i dont why. Can i meet him now , please? I want to hugged him, please? Its left with 5 more days before boyfriend go to his cisco camp. Ok, wait, i want to cry. Siaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall laaaaaaaaaah. Ok.

IM HAVING A SERIOUS DEEP EMOTIONAL MOOD.

i want my boyfriend! now!

2009-09-25T01:51:00.002+08:00

cute right? huhu. i feel so happy and glad that both of my love ones get together very well. i love them alot. i hope that this boding friendship btw my bf and my another bf, ok wait, that sounds weird, my boyfriend and bestfriend, will not have any misunderstandings. i love them both, n i cant loose them. They are my treasure.

Now, its feels that im lonely. Yes, ive been missing so many friends and ive yet to meet them. Im so happy that i hangout with my ex-schoolmates boyfriends, fiq,azam,fir,farooze just now, even if it just took a while. I miss my friends. My ex classmates, oh, where are they? how are they? Its hard for me to just see them once. Sometimes, i felt dissapointed cos non of my dearest friends contact me. here i am, alone again.
I just wish for this one day, that i have all my friends back. I know, my relationship make me changed alot , make my close friends feels that im no longer in a tied friendship with them. Yes, im happy with my love beside me, and yes, maybe i waste a lot of time with my love. Yes, i have already found my space.
i guess this is the time for me to regain all my friendship back. I miss my old peeps. best friend ain,qida. I miss hanging out with you babys.

Have a conversation just now with my mum really hurts me so much. I just dont understand why does she really need to push herself so hard when she know that she cant make it to the top. Brother try to defend our rights but she is just to stubborn to notice it all. To notice that this is teengae kids nowdays. It hurts so much, n i bet it hurt brother too, and i know, brother is trying his best to control whatever deep emotion that he had and stay strong. Brother has let it all out , n yet mom didnt event realise it. Yes, thanks brother. All that i wanted to say to mum that ive been keeping it from my entire life, brother had said it. N i too had done my part. Now i feel less pressure. Sometimes, i dont understand why does she need to be so proud of herself, n making us better than the rest. I dont know. Yes, she must be proud cos we're no spoilt like the rest. Of course she must be proud,cos we respect her and we choosed to listen. Gosh , i dont know what the hell im saying now. Im just so sick and so hurt by mom. She just wouldnt try to understand us, in a way. I just hate critisizing. Please, im just a teenage girl.

2009-09-23T23:30:00.002+08:00

Long story cut short , yesterday torn with boyfriend all the way. Had so much fun. Boyfriend bought himself a pair of contact lense.

Went back to my home base and help boyfriend to put his lense into his eyes, gosh. After half an hour, manage to do it. His so damn excited, n happy too. Good for him.

Yes,ive been editing blogs again, i know , its all UNTIDY now, but will see how later. Im too tired to arrange it all today, U feel so god damn sleepy.

I need rest, Gonna work tomorrow at 9am. Shittos, im tired lah. I feel like screaming , can?

Oh ya, i dyed my hair black. haha, good girl.

till then , ira nak tdo.

bye.

2009-09-19T02:00:00.003+08:00

Yes, hello once again. Thank you for dropping by. Huhus.

Well, everybody knows that raya is coming in a day time and i dont need to elaborate more on that.

Yes, bought myself a white baju kurong which is simple to the max and yes, it look ok lah . but i look awesomely fat , fatter than ever, ever, yes ever. Nvm lah , i guess im gonna used that Once. haaaaaaah.

So, just now went out with boyfriend, get our pay. My pay is so damn low, tetek! Then went lunch with boyfriend, i know, we didnt puasa again. we Ate, chiken teriyaki, nasi goreng, french fries,honey chicken and onion rings. huhu. yumyum! Then went to geylang with boyfriend and his two best friends zam n wandi. huhu. Was fun hanging out with them.

So, we decided to wear peach colour this year for couple kurongs instead of light purple. Boyfriend get his and his so happy with it , and yes, ive got mine, boyfriend bought for me as a girlfriend gift. How sweeet ! huhu. So *touch*.

Haah , thank you boyfriend. Now, reached home and damn im so exhausted sia. I feel like relaxing in a spa. huhu.

God dammit! Wanna know something ?

4 days ago- i had my right eye mata tembel

3 days ago-i had flu thanks to my passing down brother and mother.
2 days ago- i had cough non stop

1 day ag0- i canno tahan with this three things

and today , ive got a fever.

Gerek pe sia time raya ni maciam? tetek!

Hah! Tomorrow gonna go geylang again , nak borooongg lagiii! YoouhuuuuU!

& yes, i think i will update till here,

to everybody.

Happy advance Hari raya.

Maaf zahir dan batin.

&&& wei wei wei, yang sapa2 yang dah abg2 tu, yang dah tua tu , sila berikanku duet raya.

Terima kasih.

No, im not old, im still SIXTEEN , =) , hees.

2009-09-14T02:14:00.002+08:00

Now, relaxing myselfs with F&N cherry and kueh tartsn makmur beside me. Ahhh, at last.Cooking ayam soup for sahur, gonna fried nuggets later/

Yes, Hi. Today's update : 8 monthsary .
Huhu. I know, At 5pm met boyfriend tampines n took bus to east coast park, reach at 7 pm headed over to the roller blade shop since both of us didnt fast and rent ourselves two roller blads for two hours which cost us $34. Which means, $17 each. = $10 first hours, $7 overtime hours. Enjoyed ourself laughing at each other faces. I fell down harshly for 3 times while boyfriend fell down 2 time, funny thing is , the three time i fell infront , like superman n indra fell behind, like sitting on a chair. Funny siol. It was ages since we laugh at each other. we skate from C to E. which took us an hour and 15 mins. lol, puas hati jalan kan?. Oh yah, otw, he gave me ritter sports chocolate as a gift.

So the later part of the day , at 9+ pm, sat at water breaker. Talk to ain on the phone for a while. Then talk to boyfriend. I gave him a card with our pictures inside it.

Suddenly he told me to promise him that i would close my eyes and count to 130. I was lost at that momment and i knew something weird gonna happen. So , i follow the flow and agreed. I close my eyes and start counting.1..2..3..4, but until 45 i feel something on my neck. I was laughing and keeping my eyes closed. Until 55 when i stop counting and i felt something most cherished thing he's every given me , a necklace. With three hearts. awww. sweet!.
I was hugging him all the way. n suddenly...
he said " adoi2, badan di saket ,ahh", i was kanchiong on that momment . His right hand was in his back tat that momment but when he put his hand infront , he showed me a yellow small packet , includes of an earing and a letter, he was saying " eh ,ada benda ni pulak, nah.."( something lyke dat ).
I was so damn embarassed and just laugh. I told him i hate him because he loves to give me surprises. He just laughed at me and stared at the necklace that he just put for me. N he said " sweet lahh". OMG!

Overall, i love boyfriend. He has given me three presents for 8 monthsary. & i love it so much.
He really do love me , sooo damn fucking much sial.

" Mi, kalau boleh i nak you jaga rantai ngan ear ring you, pls. I nak tgk u pakai setiap kali u keluar dengan i, boleh?" - I will my love, i would wear it , every single day of my love life.

2009-09-12T00:20:00.003+08:00

I dont know where to start, okay. Its been a few days since i stepped school, n yeah, ive been coming since [ i dont even remember ] , but i know, i did stepped into that school.

Well, it was two days ago when i went home with a classmate called ia, or zakiah ( i thinkk so) back to tampines. I was going to meet my boyfriend. Otw there, Ia n i talked about boyfriends problems, accidents, n death. that momment my hp batt was flat. Took the same bus and off to his block. When i switch on my phone there were three important msges from boyfriend. Called boyfriend and went up. He suddenly told me that he got a called about his aunty in ICU. ok, so he rushed to hospital while i went back home. That night, he called me and he said his aunty recently passed away. Creepy right ? i feel like telling IA, but i dont have her number. saddenings. Al fatiha to arwah makcik indra.

Yes, i know, its been days since i blogged. I dont have enough stories to share but hey , i guess there is some little stories which i can announced. Boyfriend gonna went to police academy or watever for his so called new job as an auxillary police. He's still choosing whether he wants 17th sep, or 1st october. He would be there for 7 weeks. huhu.

Urms, schools fine and work is fine. Tomorrow, will be heading to geylang with my whole bunch famillies and gonna breakfast in my dad's lorry with my granma's cooking , NASI AYAM. Yum2!. Boyfriend couldnt come along cos he's got kenduri arwah. Nvm, its ok.

& yeah , i will be working tomorrow to, from 9am till 12.30pm. gaaah ! Must wake up at six. Gosh , the earliest waking up saturday momments for nur sahira. lols. oh yah!,

sumone just tell me that he has feelings for me. ok , funny sia. Boyfriend ; jealous. lol.

2009-09-07T01:24:00.002+08:00

I know. Well, i just want to say something to sumone, to my very own blood brother, Thank you for sacrificing. I love you alot. But if u ever feel that its too nasty for you to have you bednight sleep at the hall, you are welcome back to your own place.

That's all. I dont need to explain more [insert] folder. pfft. Well, these few days was fine and urh, yes, i dont even know what to do in da house. I know, i will always sleep at 4am+ and woked up at 5pm+. Im really crazy

Well, tomorrow gonna have bpf's exam paper. Which so called a "test".Idk. Stupidly, i left my paper's at school. I can only learn when i reached school. idiidot.Allah , please help me. I hope i wont struggle later on. I know, i dont even know much of BPF's. Gosh, im going to be mad sia if i cant do the paper.

Now, boyfriend gave my family 3 ikan duri and 2 palang(idk whether this spelling is rite or not).How sweet! Huhu. He lepak with me from 4pm till night. I love you boyfriend. Thank you.

Sent boyfriend to bus stop and met best friend fir at playground. Talk to him, understand his situation. You know the best friend to best friend talk. huhu. I guess, there's so much thing going around him now.

After school, gonna chill out at sentosa with boyfriend, lyeena and shah. Huhu. Since lyeena wants to swiiiim so much. Oh well. huhus. Cant wait for tomorrow! So happy.!

I miss you. & i know, i have to wait for this one day,one time,one chance till i meet you. I know, im sorry if i ever hurt your girlfriend heart. It was uncalled for. Yes, i'll be patient. But please, my hands are itchy type these " i miss you" sentence in my keypad. Well, i guess, i'll just have to wait. I know, ur gaining back ur trust with her. I could understand that. I hope you keep your promise , that you gonna meet me one day & mr , Promise is a big word. Just like what you say.

I'll be waiting..

2009-09-04T02:42:00.002+08:00

Bismillah, lol. Okay babe. im back. Now , what did i do today? Ok, i didnt do anything. Before breakfast , help mommy cook dinner. We cooked Nasi goreng with udang,fishcake,tempura udang,paru & so many others. huuhs, Today is my first time knowing that udang has a place which is so called their "taik" place. Ewww. I never knew udang got very long long taik. So girls, make sure you cut the udang properly , dont just cook the udang like that cos, you'll be eating the udang , and the udang passmotion. ewww? seriously digusting sia. Thanks mommy for telling me.

After that , hang around waited for brother to reach home. At around 10 plus, we headed to jurong east to visit relatives who has passed away. The body is still there, will be burried tomorrow. Before we headed there, mum and i have a very funny time , what orang tua usually says "Orng gi melawat, ni nak melawar". You know. Mom n me had a Runway show, asking my brother and dad whether this look or that look okay. Mum face was seriously ugly when she wear tudung. So makcik2 , n that one point of time i accidentally said " eee, muka mcm mummy jee nak mati". I head brother laugh his ass out at our room. Lol. We really waste time so much sia, because of the clothes. But , at last , manageable. Dad was serious frustated with us , he said " ni kalau aku berak pon korang dua tak habis2". =_=", serios, he did do his passmotion thingy. But that time we are already in our clothes. So yeah.
Headed down there, talk talk talk. Smoke for a while. Go up back. Then go down again. Headed to Mcdonalds with whole family excluding mak,khidir,ika. Plus mey friend, fahmi. Then eat eat eat, lepak lepak lepak. 1am+ go home. Like that lah. So, i guess that's the main story. Now, thanks to kak mey and shima for laughing their ass out due to my fake hair. Sial korang. ( y )
Now , let me tell you how do i n the one who passed away, LINKED. Since kak mey and my brother were lost in the linking part.
Me-mother-grandmother-late grandfather ( part 1)
Me-mother-grandmother-fake late grandmother (part 2)
Aruah whom passed away just now-aruah husband (part 3)
Look at the bold & red one , they are siblings. So, we're family. get it?

2009-09-03T02:46:00.002+08:00

Ok well. Today , skip first part. Went geylang with boyfriend. Meet him at 4pm+ at tampines and took bus to geylang. Boyfriend is still limping and he's trying his best back to walk normally. So, Breakfast and walk2 after that. Nothing much to say. we still had yet to decide on our couple clothes.

Huhus, will it be , Penjabi or baju raya? We already planned if we were to wear baju raya , it would be light purple. Dont know why. Haaahs. Then if penjabi , that one , we still have to think about it!Funny thing is , we didnt ate a lot , all we ate was, mee bakso,nasi briyani,satay,hotdog,apam balek, deng deng ( tak habis ) . I guess, we dont really have the eating mood. Thanks to, fasting month. huhus.

Gosh , spending time with boyfriend really makes me think about the past alot.
yes, i know. Its only seven months , but seven months is such a big deal. you
know. Im really lucky to have an understanding boyfriend. Shahindra , i love you
so much. Betol lah siak , aku tak bedek k.
Huhu.Came back home , got nagged for a few minutes by both mom and dad. They planned to go geylang on 12 september and clean the house on 13 september which the fact is my 8th monthsary with shahindra. wahlau , it's so damn exciting lah celebrating your 8th monthsary cleaning the house. Gosh , baru terfikir nak go ecp play rollerblade. Potong mood ajek sia!.

Huhu. Eyh yah , boyfriend told me to invite anyone who is willing to join us rollerblading at ecp. But dunnow when. Huhu, anyone? any couples?. Its gonna be fun! Well, my post ends here.

Yes, he's my Love.

2009-09-02T00:48:00.002+08:00

Firstly , happy teachers day to every teacher in da house. Yeah. Woked up at 3pm today and boyfriend was busily taking his prac 1 at ubi. At around 4pm , received a call from him and he said he felt down from his bike two times , i could hear that he was trying to say that when he fell down to the floor , he felt like he's superman. Ok, but i know he fell down hard, due to his few bruises and his spoilt handphone after that accident. Firstly , he accidentally skidded, n secondly , the stupid car driver knock him down. && he told me that the bike he was riding on earlier spoilt , with the number plate left unshaped, now u can see that he's accident is serious. Ok , not that serious.

So, soon after he came to my house to buka with my family . But unexpectedly , boyfriend breakfast earlier due to his angry mood because of the accident he had just now. What a waste. So, ate our breakfast meal , went down stairs and.....

Tadaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ! You can see what's he doing. So yeah , dont wanna explain more [insert] folder. So , Like i said, he promised. N he did it . With no regrets. OHHH, he even burn up the envelopes. ( if you read my past post , you would probably understand what the hell is happening right here ).

Boyfriend is busily putting all the letters inside the CAMPFIRE. Lol. He just dont seem to bother. Lucky him.

His past thingy, oh yah , ive forgotten , he even burn up his , uh , chain? uh, oh bracelet and so called like a wallet. Woahhhhhh. i help him to burn all that thing tooo.

& lastly , this is the final piece of art work that he has done .

Now, i know, u might be thinking that im so sakastic toward boyfriend. But what can i do ? Well, thats mee. So boys, try to refresh ur mind first before having the urge to invite me to your life. You might not want a girlfriend like me. Cos, im way crazy about this relationship thingy. Besides, girls rules ! Right ? I really dont wanna end up being played like a fool one day with so stupid boys . So, better be strict , cos strict help girls alot.

Till then,

im caderella.

2009-08-29T00:13:00.003+08:00

One two three.
scroll down the pictures and you will see.
The Beautiful brides and groom ever be.

Fine , i know its lame. Heyas , i know its there's been some long lost update but heya, im back!
Now, Skip the first part of today , at around 1pm reach McRitchie for photoshoot. Huhu. Was fun. Sarah n lyeena wear Malay traditional costumes while i used dinner costumes. Huhu. Ok, damn funny. So , was there from 1pm till 6pm with Sarah,sarah's friend,lyeena,lyeena's boyfriend, lyeena's boyfriend two friends and my boyfriend.

Not much to say , i guess thats it ? Im tired. Damn , im married to indra. LOL.

2009-08-26T01:38:00.005+08:00

Currently having fun with Projects and stress with school. I can handle the projects but the handwritten work still confused me, there's a lot of stuff that i need to learn and i feel so left out now. Ca's paper are around the corner and i just feel like a loser. No , really. I just cant stop thinking about failing. I hope i can work harder though.

Been busy with projects recently and yes, i have fun. Even though the sudden bomb was set in front of me , i manage to work smoothly with my team member. Yes, at least part of it is done. Now, friday will be heading to MacRitchie Reservoir with sarah and lyeena for our BEO projects. No, i will not tell you kepo's the reason why we are going there. Hire a spy for youself to know what's happening there. Huhus.Darn ! I really cant wait.. Yoouhooo.

Now, Still have minor negative discussions with indra. I guess we are quite shaky these days but we try to act as if nothing happen. I hope that this relationship will stand strong. Even though there is still some negative feelings inside me. Gosh. I just don't get it. why does everytime, someone tries to show me that her/their boyfriends are pretty much cooler, hotter than my boyfriend. Maybe , they don't mean what i say . Maybe , im just too negative.

Our actors , LOL. chibey. This is for LPDX.
Credits to my brother. Thank you for helping me to edit the whole irritating film.
Enjoy you people!

2009-08-20T23:57:00.002+08:00

SCHOOL
Seriously , school's today were a little bit different than i ever expected. People do change. Let's just say , that most of the people change alot. I know, its been 3 weeks since i touch school and i feel so left out with the latest gossip's that girlfriends has been spreading around from the start i didnt attend to school. Lost in mind. I cant even catch up with the thing that is happening around me. So.. latest. Everybody is talking about everybody in that class. So i guess , its fair cos there's two-way connection. Well, not tryin to be kepo but it just that i feel like im a newbie in class , just like in january. Ok, i dont wanna say much cos i know that everyone out there will soon gossip about me , ok maybe they did?

DURING SCHOOL
Was caught up by BEO teacher and i was sent to the wtf , i dont remember what's its called, headmaster peh bawah peh pangkat. the one who took care of the students. Dont remember lah. so, i was brought down because of my attendence which is only 84%. So, she said if i didnt come for another lesson after this, she will debar me from the subject. I was like wtf. ok fine. It was my fault.

So yeah,

I guess i should start schooling now. i seriously think about it as i only have 7 weeks left so yeah, just endure the school's torture. What to do . I dont want to receive a debarment letter. Surely , i dont even want my mum to scream at me and fuck me upside down. You know how mother's act right. I dont even need to explain.

AFTER SCHOOL

When to outram alone , yet again , to buy mum medicine and back home. chat with mom about what happened and she seems so ok2. Lucky she never shout sia. So indra cam over next and we just hangout outside the hall watching HEROES, HOWIE DO IT & Victoria secret. So yeah.

LASTLY

Indra said he will be working again tomorrow and he wants to leave his work by 6pm. I told him i wanna spent time with him. But he just dont get it. What i meant was the whole day. Pfft. N then he change his mind , with his "alamak" attitude and said he will leave work by 3pm. I was like.. cheeebye. Then i said i want him to have his day off tomorrow , and all he did was squeeze his two eyebrows like ziana zain. So, fedup . I felt pissed off and i just dont know what to say. He said ok2, he will not work tomorrow. But i'll bet he really wanna work tomorrow. Besides, meeting me is wasting money. dont you guys think? better off going off with someone else who can accompany me the whole day and give me some warm hugs and sweet kisses. That would be great right ? pfft.

Gosh , i never knew lyeena has the same feelings as mine , we really felt like breaking up. No serious. Let's see whats gonna happen next ya ?

Anyone wanna treat me to cinderella on ice concert ? i would be so glad =) , pls?

2009-08-19T03:44:00.005+08:00

What can i say , its been a day and i still cant get that feelings off me. Worst , i feel like i don't want to talk to him no more. What can i do , ive been trying to help myself but it seems that there's no helpline.

Im going to school tomorrow, ok wait today. To finish up my BPF's project which need to be handed up next week. ive been missing a lot of school lesson recently & i guess is time to step up. After thinking that there's only 4 months left till i graduate from this course, i have this feeling to put my school period right on track. Yeah.
I hope everyone around me will support me in this way. Gosh.

Two days till PUASA and i feel rather odd. It's way early and hell yeah , i feel like school is ending soon too. But no, during Hari raya, there will people will be going to school just like me. tetek lah. pfft. 5th september, will be going to mawa break-fast. Huhu, its been years since i go to mawa outing. I miss Darul ma'wa kids.

i guess that's all for today.

im starting to feel exhausted

2009-08-17T23:56:00.004+08:00

Biscuits in super-size G-strings.

What the hell. Its been a week since i last update. Nothing personal. No new updates about anything that i could ever think of in this very night.

Indra will soon throw away his precious , [ lets call that person , person A ] person A stuffs. Yes, he promise and i god damn sure his gonna do it. I don't know, this fading feelings has been coming back to me these few weeks and to be honest , i feel like killing myself already. I can't even get that feeling off me. No serious. Yes, maybe is just plain jealousy . But if its plain jealousy and fading feeling comes next , i cant even dream of myself handling such cases. Maybe Fir is right, but maybe youre the type tht cnt tell the person the love feelings cuz once u bilang mcm u raser nothing to keep abt. I guess so.

Its not that i hate person A , but it seems that they have done everything , almost everything together and there's nothing that i can do to show him that i am the first one to do anything to him instead of the other party.You know? I just can simply figure what is the thing that can make him feel anything for the first time. Yes, everyone says start a new journey, refresh your mind. but i don't want. I want something that has never been done before and i want to be the one who done it first , not starting a new journey.

I dared him , and he agreed to do so. He will , burn it and throw it away , just for me. I still got that feeling that he's gonna regret doing it. Don't you think so? Just wait for the time to come, it will be my judgement day. To know whether , he still has feelings , whether love or suka or syg person A. Let me judge my own boyfriend. Let's see who's gonna cry later on.

Why does everything that i do with him must be linking to her?
I just don't get it.