Pujaan Hati =)

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Cad For short.
Im happy with the way iam
There's no need to be spreading rumours about me

Pretty much a weight gainer
So , If you can't be a good example for yourself, then be a terrible warning

THE ONE WHO JUST ACCEPTED ME FOR EVERYTHING
What could i say , im just LUCKY :p

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29.8.09 00:13

One two three.
scroll down the pictures and you will see.
The Beautiful brides and groom ever be.

Fine , i know its lame. Heyas , i know its there's been some long lost update but heya, im back!
Now, Skip the first part of today , at around 1pm reach McRitchie for photoshoot. Huhu. Was fun. Sarah n lyeena wear Malay traditional costumes while i used dinner costumes. Huhu. Ok, damn funny. So , was there from 1pm till 6pm with Sarah,sarah's friend,lyeena,lyeena's boyfriend, lyeena's boyfriend two friends and my boyfriend.

Not much to say , i guess thats it ? Im tired. Damn , im married to indra. LOL.

26.8.09 01:38

Currently having fun with Projects and stress with school. I can handle the projects but the handwritten work still confused me, there's a lot of stuff that i need to learn and i feel so left out now. Ca's paper are around the corner and i just feel like a loser. No , really. I just cant stop thinking about failing. I hope i can work harder though.

Been busy with projects recently and yes, i have fun. Even though the sudden bomb was set in front of me , i manage to work smoothly with my team member. Yes, at least part of it is done. Now, friday will be heading to MacRitchie Reservoir with sarah and lyeena for our BEO projects. No, i will not tell you kepo's the reason why we are going there. Hire a spy for youself to know what's happening there. Huhus.Darn ! I really cant wait.. Yoouhooo.

Now, Still have minor negative discussions with indra. I guess we are quite shaky these days but we try to act as if nothing happen. I hope that this relationship will stand strong. Even though there is still some negative feelings inside me. Gosh. I just don't get it. why does everytime, someone tries to show me that her/their boyfriends are pretty much cooler, hotter than my boyfriend. Maybe , they don't mean what i say . Maybe , im just too negative.

Our actors , LOL. chibey. This is for LPDX.
Credits to my brother. Thank you for helping me to edit the whole irritating film.
Enjoy you people!

20.8.09 23:57

SCHOOL
Seriously , school's today were a little bit different than i ever expected. People do change. Let's just say , that most of the people change alot. I know, its been 3 weeks since i touch school and i feel so left out with the latest gossip's that girlfriends has been spreading around from the start i didnt attend to school. Lost in mind. I cant even catch up with the thing that is happening around me. So.. latest. Everybody is talking about everybody in that class. So i guess , its fair cos there's two-way connection. Well, not tryin to be kepo but it just that i feel like im a newbie in class , just like in january. Ok, i dont wanna say much cos i know that everyone out there will soon gossip about me , ok maybe they did?

DURING SCHOOL
Was caught up by BEO teacher and i was sent to the wtf , i dont remember what's its called, headmaster peh bawah peh pangkat. the one who took care of the students. Dont remember lah. so, i was brought down because of my attendence which is only 84%. So, she said if i didnt come for another lesson after this, she will debar me from the subject. I was like wtf. ok fine. It was my fault.

So yeah,

I guess i should start schooling now. i seriously think about it as i only have 7 weeks left so yeah, just endure the school's torture. What to do . I dont want to receive a debarment letter. Surely , i dont even want my mum to scream at me and fuck me upside down. You know how mother's act right. I dont even need to explain.

AFTER SCHOOL

When to outram alone , yet again , to buy mum medicine and back home. chat with mom about what happened and she seems so ok2. Lucky she never shout sia. So indra cam over next and we just hangout outside the hall watching HEROES, HOWIE DO IT & Victoria secret. So yeah.

LASTLY

Indra said he will be working again tomorrow and he wants to leave his work by 6pm. I told him i wanna spent time with him. But he just dont get it. What i meant was the whole day. Pfft. N then he change his mind , with his "alamak" attitude and said he will leave work by 3pm. I was like.. cheeebye. Then i said i want him to have his day off tomorrow , and all he did was squeeze his two eyebrows like ziana zain. So, fedup . I felt pissed off and i just dont know what to say. He said ok2, he will not work tomorrow. But i'll bet he really wanna work tomorrow. Besides, meeting me is wasting money. dont you guys think? better off going off with someone else who can accompany me the whole day and give me some warm hugs and sweet kisses. That would be great right ? pfft.

Gosh , i never knew lyeena has the same feelings as mine , we really felt like breaking up. No serious. Let's see whats gonna happen next ya ?

Anyone wanna treat me to cinderella on ice concert ? i would be so glad =) , pls?

19.8.09 03:44

What can i say , its been a day and i still cant get that feelings off me. Worst , i feel like i don't want to talk to him no more. What can i do , ive been trying to help myself but it seems that there's no helpline.

Im going to school tomorrow, ok wait today. To finish up my BPF's project which need to be handed up next week. ive been missing a lot of school lesson recently & i guess is time to step up. After thinking that there's only 4 months left till i graduate from this course, i have this feeling to put my school period right on track. Yeah.
I hope everyone around me will support me in this way. Gosh.

Two days till PUASA and i feel rather odd. It's way early and hell yeah , i feel like school is ending soon too. But no, during Hari raya, there will people will be going to school just like me. tetek lah. pfft. 5th september, will be going to mawa break-fast. Huhu, its been years since i go to mawa outing. I miss Darul ma'wa kids.

i guess that's all for today.

im starting to feel exhausted

17.8.09 23:56

Biscuits in super-size G-strings.

What the hell. Its been a week since i last update. Nothing personal. No new updates about anything that i could ever think of in this very night.

Indra will soon throw away his precious , [ lets call that person , person A ] person A stuffs. Yes, he promise and i god damn sure his gonna do it. I don't know, this fading feelings has been coming back to me these few weeks and to be honest , i feel like killing myself already. I can't even get that feeling off me. No serious. Yes, maybe is just plain jealousy . But if its plain jealousy and fading feeling comes next , i cant even dream of myself handling such cases. Maybe Fir is right, but maybe youre the type tht cnt tell the person the love feelings cuz once u bilang mcm u raser nothing to keep abt. I guess so.

Its not that i hate person A , but it seems that they have done everything , almost everything together and there's nothing that i can do to show him that i am the first one to do anything to him instead of the other party.You know? I just can simply figure what is the thing that can make him feel anything for the first time. Yes, everyone says start a new journey, refresh your mind. but i don't want. I want something that has never been done before and i want to be the one who done it first , not starting a new journey.

I dared him , and he agreed to do so. He will , burn it and throw it away , just for me. I still got that feeling that he's gonna regret doing it. Don't you think so? Just wait for the time to come, it will be my judgement day. To know whether , he still has feelings , whether love or suka or syg person A. Let me judge my own boyfriend. Let's see who's gonna cry later on.

Why does everything that i do with him must be linking to her?
I just don't get it.

11.8.09 01:18

MOVE - UR - ASS .

Full : Stop.

6.8.09 03:11

Four, Two , ZERO.

Now, my life kinda sucks these few days actually cos all ive been doing is just sitting my ass at home and did nothing and enjoy the precious life at home. Tomorrow , im gonna start coming back to school , n damn i hope i can wake up tomorrow and go to school ! Projects are coming in baby ! Im so gonna be dead trying to finish all the assignements, besides, i dont even know what my classmates has been learning since my so called 1 week 4 days holiday at home. Gosh. I really need time to brush off. Now, its important to go to school and hell yeah, cant skip any more lessons. Its hurting me *ouch*.

For Boyfriend purpose, i dont know what to say. Life has been really fine and yah, we're ok. We'll be going fishing on the 15 and 16 of august, teh last one before its time to puasa. Pfft. Maybe my family will be joining, idk. Let's see how lah kan. But i god damn sure im gonna go fishhyyy.. This 7th monthsary, i dont really know what to buy for hym , maybe treat him at eatzie's? will that be ok? haha. I hope so. well, just hope that he will be happy.

The rest, brownie's back home and hell yeah, i feel like kicking her ass. Really. pfft ! girl girl is ok. She's fine. The rest was ok.

Gosh, i think i need to do some adjustments about these blog, its kinda irritaing , isnt it? pfft.

Sis Iirah, Cheer up okays. I know you can do it. Patience is the sucessor.

4.8.09 02:50

TO FUTURE

B-O-Y-F-R-I-E-N-D-S

1. Do you need him/her to be good looking?
♥ More on the sweetness, lesser the good looking.
2. Smart?
♥ Not too smart until he step onto my head. I'll prefer , clever.
3. Preferred age?
♥ Any age but PUHLEASE below 25, its like marry-ing somone.
4. Preferred height?.
♥ Not to tall, not to short, average. At least, higher would be better.
5. How about sense of humor?
♥ That would be really helpful. i dont wanna end up being with a monkey.
6. How about piercings?
♥ NOT ACCEPTABLE In any other place , excepts ears.
7. Accepts you for who you are?
♥ isnt that the whole main story of love?
8. Pink hair?
♥ I dont need another freak in da house.
9. Mushy or no?
♥ wait, urhhhhhhhhhhhh. no.
10. Thin or fat?
♥ Not tooo thin , nor tooo fat. At least i have comfortable space/air to hugged hym will do.
11. Black, Brown or White (skin color)?
♥ i'll prefer chinese looking , but tanned and white ok. But black, no. Sorry.
12. Long hair or short hair?.
♥ Depends. If its suitable, the ok lah.
13. Plastic or metal?
♥ Since when did i order a men from a catalogue?
14. Smells good?
♥ Of course, but not to nice, cos its hard for me to let go of hym.
15. Smoker?
♥ acceptable, but not for every 5 freaking minutes can? its like a kettle pot u know.
16. Drinker?
♥ To a certain occasion.
17. Girl/Boy-next-door type?
♥ Not soo, Its not healthy to see boyfriends every single day/nite.
18. Muscular?
♥ WooooohooOO !, Just a small muscy. I dont want hercules's arms.
19. Plays piano?
♥ Thats gonna be sweeeeeeeeeeet.
20. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar?
♥ Thats , ROMANCE as in romantic.
21. Plays violin?
♥ It's touhcing. But please, dont break ur neck.
22. Sings very good?
♥ This is what i want.
23. Vain?
♥ To a certain extent.
24. With glasses?
♥ Can laahhhh.
25. With braces?
♥ NOT ACCEPTABLE.
26. Shy type?
♥ sorry, ur out !
27. Rebel or good boy/girl?
Not too rebel, not too goodie, i wanna spice uup the relationship a bit!
28. Active or passive?
♥ B-O-T-H
29. Tight or bomb?
♥ nice ass and bombastic.
30. Singer or dancer?
♥ I'll prefer singer.
31. Stunner?
♥......................
32. Hiphop?
♥ Quite acceptable, not to rowdy puhlease.
33. Earrings?
♥ Yes, but not the girls earings.
34. Mr/Ms. count-my-ex-girlfriends-until-you-drop?
♥ NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
35. Dimples?
♥ oh yes please.
36. Bookworm?
♥ Not too much cos i'll end up talking to a book.
37. Mr/Ms. love letter?
♥ sweeeeeeeeeeet, aww.
38. Playful?
♥ Yes , maintan consistency.
39. Flirt?
♥ Flirt , XXXXX. Exit now.
40. Poem writer?.
♥ will do, but to a certain extent can? i dont understand literature that much.
41. Serious?
♥ poooof -boring.
42. Campus crush?
♥ hmmmmm.
43. Painter?
♥ Oh yes please, its romantic to miee.
44. Religious?
♥ Can, but no soooooooo much.
45. Someone who likes to tease people?
♥ i dont like people to get hurt by feelings/
46. Computer games geek? Or internet freak?
♥ uh, computer games ok lah. Internet freak no, cos ur sure gonna know many girls sooner or later.
47. Speaks 20 languages?
♥ AWESOME !
48. Loyal or faithful?
Faithful.
49. Good kisser ?
♥Of course, not too fat lips pls. its like cheeseburger eating me.
50. Loves children??
♥ DURH! Cos, i will have them one day.

♥ Sleepless nights

2.8.09 05:18

It's disgusting, watever her name is. She's from one of my friends list in somewhere and everytime i viewed at her profile i felt fucking disgusted. She thinks she's that sexy, having a hot twin boobs? OMG. For crying out loud, she's ugly and bare in myind, she doesnt even look beautiful. Not that i critisize her or what, but just look at her, one blink tells all. Its not just one pic, 3/4 of them are boopers!Cut your head off before anyone does Ma'am. Gosh. I hate this you know, trying to show to people that your sexy but the fact that you dont? I dont understand these people. Doesnt wearing clothes and dressing up more appropriate will make others think good of you instead of thinking your nottie and all?. The comments that she gets is all awesome, ( Y ). Are the men's blind for god sake? She's having boobs and tyre's around her body. It wouldnt be sexy, trust me. It's just that, try covering your body , if your body doesnt make to the sexy level. Urhs. & SEX APPEAL doesnt make any difference if your not that SEXY enough.

What, now im stuck. My 10 months kittens has been missing and i dont know how the fuck she didnt came home yesterday. Ive been searching for her for hours and it didnt gave me nothing. Parents try to find her but still, useless. Where the hack does this kitten would probably be right now? It seems so quite without her around the house, really. I missing her, so so so much. & how i wish she can just come back home and never left me again. Please, help me find her. Ive cried for hours, hours, for brownie. I opened the master door for every single half an hour to check out whether she's there outside the door or still nowhere to be found. I want my kitty back.

I THINK IM GONNA FALL SICK AGAIN.

1.8.09 03:42

Three , two , one !

Ok seriously im bored. No serious siah. I feel like killing myself. I wanna got out. But where should i go? Locomoco invite me to meet him up at civic, but im plain lazy to get out of da house walking to civic centre. Lah cibei . Urh ! Who's gonna walk at 3.45am in the morning from ma crib to civic. Crazie, im sick, my heads spinning,im bored, i felt like im in the hospital. Gosh. I wanna get out of da house. I wanna sleep, but ive got to many sleeping momments , i can really go for sleeping beauty acting roles, =_=".

Tomorrow is National Day preview, N im not fit to dance on that show. I feel like not going in there. With the crowds , the atmosphere, plus my head spinning mind, no i dont think so im going. But The boringness, plus its saturday makes me feel like i wanna go. Gosh, its preview for got sake, and its R-E-A-L-L-Y important. But i just cant go if my head kept on spinning up and down. Its like a typhoon surrounding my brain. Gosh. Im just tired. Tired of eating,sleeping.

Talking about Eating, gosh, i cant even stopp eating, i thought sick people cant eat that much, but its like ive been munching every single time i woked up ! Im becoming a monster. Idiot. I even lost my Bantal busok. wtf, where is it. my mothers room or my brother is sleeping on it ? or my cats hiding it somewhere? gosh. what a life man. Can i start killing someone? of course i cant cos i gonna end up being in jail. Ok fine, i cant sleep, i eat, i dunnow what to do with this internet, i finished editing my blogged, my tagged is boring, my friendster is dead, people dont talk to me, strangers kept on asking me repeated questions " intro please". I get bored years after years. I wish i could write a whole composition about myself and just past the whole chunk at all the strangers that ive known. That would be much better isnt it?! pfft.

I cannot stand this boredness around me !