Its seems that there's nobody to trust at all. Feeling the out most pain when people just keep on being selfish to themselves. Getting the right slap on your face when you realize that everyone is just as pathetic as they can be. What's the point of having secrets when each one of them always sabotage you by telling someone else. Regardless if it is your mom, brother, best friend, boyfriend . They think that they can change you into a better person, correct your wrongdoings but no, they're wrong.

They make me suffer the pain. Take away my happiness. Make me feel as if i will not have any mistakes , even a small error in life anymore.

How can life be so beautiful when your happiness is taken away. How can i be me when everybody else expect you to be the role model , even if you don't want to. How can they make me feel pain when i am the one who's taking care of my own heart.

Please don't tell me that i am a robot. Do whatever they say. I have a heart to control my feelings and i have a brain to think whether its is wrong or right. Why must you change me?

I'm not good at lying nor good at telling the truth. Everyone has their own secrets but that doesn't mean that you can just ruin someone happiness like that.

Feel like leaving home, just cool myself down and start fresh. Taking care of only myself and no one else to bother about. I'm sick of all the noises that comes in and out of my head. I'm sick of people telling me don't do this and that. I'm sick of hearing that whatever i have been doing is a sin to everybody else. Cut that crap. Why must i listen to them when i know i can be better. They're just pushing me down.

I don't like this theory when someone who simply curse you and tell you that your stupid, your angry and you show or prove them that you are not that person. Why the HELL must we prove to people that we can achieved ? Why must all of you bring me down and take it for granted that i will prove to you that i can do it. What's the worth?

What if i am not that 80% of you that will kill to prove people that you can make it. What if i am the kind where you bring me down and i lost hope? Telling people that i can't make it because i'm so emotionally torn by the people who love to bring me down hoping that i will buck up. Will all of you still continue to fuck me up?

How tired i am with this mind blowing people. They are just pathetic.

Stop trying to take away my happiness, stop your negative reflection towards me. At the end of the day, IM STILL ONE OF YOUR KIND.

Hari ni aku syukur sangat.
Entahlah kenapa.

Tadi aku pergi johor dengan indra & what happen was aku cakaplah dengan dia yang aku nak tgk kedai jual gubahan2 dengan dulang2. & surprisingly, he agreed. Macam tak percaya si mamat tu. Sanggup betol melayankan perangai aku.

Dah sampai kedai2 tu, aku tanyer2 penjual. Dia diam aje. Bila aku pusing kat dia, dia senyum je. Dia tak teguh apa2 pon. Lepas tu, dia belikan aku bear. Pasal aku ckp ngan dia tadi pagi yang aku nak bear baru. hehe. Manja nyer aku kat dia.

Entahlah, dia dah banyak berubah, betol ! Dia temankan aku lima hari ni. Happy nyer aku disisi dia. Dia skrng banyak kasi aku attention. Ishkk. Rasa sayang sangat lah kat dia. Rindu pon ada.

So back to the story, dia kata dia nak bincang ngan parents dia pasal ni. Like seriously, Kita nak tunang? Aku mcm maseh belom percaya gitu sei. Tapi yeah, biler dia ckp tu, dia tgk mata aku. Serius betol lah mamat ni. hehe. Alhamdulillah, indra dah banyak berubah sekarang, demi aku. Inillah masa yang aku nanti-nantikan sejak setahun lalu.

Dulu, semuanya biasa. Boring. tetapi sekarang aku rasa hubungan kita semangkin seronok lah!
Cinta dia semangkin mendalam. Biler dia renung mata aku, peluk tubuh aku kuat2. ishhhhh ! rasa mcm alam syurga gitu. huhu.

Dah pukol 5am sekrang, Aku maseh belom dapat tido, dah 4 movie aku tgk, tak ngantok2. Agaknya terlalu ingatkan dia kot. Indra.... Saya sayangkan awak. Saya harap kita akan selalu bergini.

Akhrinya cintaku terbalas juga.